In The Mind Of Mike

Positivity

2011-03-03T20:16:00.002-05:00

I work at a non-profit organization. We help people who are going through hard times. Our credo is to give them the emergency services to help them through crisis and offer them the tools to help them toward the goal of self-sufficiency. One of my jobs is to help our clients get caught up on their utility bills in order to prevent shutoff and thus to prevent them to go without heat and electricity during the winter in Michigan. This brings me to one of my clients.

Lady comes in for an appointment with a smile and the contentment of the faithful. Story has it that she was in a severe motorcycle accident. Hospitalized her for months, caused months more of her unable to work and to take care of her children properly. And to add to that, her husband left her. She had finished school to be an EMT right before her accident and because of the accident, she is unable to work in that field. Now she wants to go back to school and try something else, but has almost no income, is days away from having her utilities from being shutoff, is doubtful that she can afford to stay in her current residence and is having a hard time with her children due to the months that they were mostly unsupervised during her recuperation.

And all through this, she stays positive and looks hopeful that things will turn around. As it turns out, I was unable to help her, and as I walked her out of the office, she thanked me for the time and trudged along to try something else.

After all that life can throw at you, you can sit still and cry till it all caves in, or you can fight your way through it. She not only fought. She did it with a smile on her face. That's positivity.

To all my friend's and family

2010-06-16T13:21:00.001-04:00

To all my friend's and family,

Known to many of you, but not all, in January of 1996 I was convicted on 4 counts of misuse of a financial transaction device (a credit card machine), each a felony in the state of Michigan. I was sentenced to 3 years of probation, 100 hours of community service and was court ordered to pay back the several thousand dollars stolen plus court costs and fees. After serving those 100 hours, paying back said restitution and in about 3 years time, in January of 1999, I was free and clear from my punishment in the eyes of the court.

Since that time, I have lived an honest living, received a college education and started a family. However, now 14 years later, I ask a favor of you all. I plan to petition the Governor for a full expungement of my record so that I may not be tethered down by my past mistakes in the hopes of finally moving forward, both in life and especially in career. So if you have ever shared a moment of time with me in all these years, an event worth mentioning, I ask that you write a small letter on my behave to share a message of my character so that I can include it in my petition application to the Office of the Parole & Commutation Board in the hopes that my application will be seen by the governor.

If you have any questions, feel free to drop a note or call.

Thank you.

Mike

Mission Critical (Zero Hour)

2010-01-31T19:23:00.003-05:00

Like all movie clichés where the end is near or all hope is lost so goes life in general. I'm being melodramatic but the reality of the situation is that I've been out of work since September of 2008 with no prospects of finding employment anytime soon, and it sucks. But this isn't anyone's fault but my own. Like many of the unemployed, I believed in the hype of the 90's where nothing could go wrong with the economy, with the job market, with the gas prices, with the world and it was all a pipe dream.

So here is a list of big mistakes I have made over the years which now result in me being unemployed now and in the foreseeable future.

1) Education

I've had numerous chances over the years to obtain a quality education in a blossoming field and instead chose poorly. That's not to say I'm not educated. I have an associates degree and I'm learned in many skills. Sadly, most of those skills cant be quantified on a resume. Other skills are self taught and don't carry a certificate or degree to back them up. So, I'm educated, but you wouldn't notice it by looking at my resume, which, by the way, my wife tells me looked horrible until she recently overhauled it. Well that explains much of the past year.

2) Poor Choices

By poor choices, I mean things that you did or could of done that hold power over you long after they were done. Here's some that come to mind. One, committing a felony at age 17. No brainer there. Whenever you get yourself in legal trouble you have to look forward to checking that box on all future job applications. Two, I turned down an opportunity to work for General Motors. Years ago I had a chance at getting in and set it aside out of pride and laziness. Now that's not to say that my life would be any different, GM is having a tough time right now, but turning down any job that pays what GM pays is just dumb, even if I felt it was beneath me. As it is now, Cleaning toilets isn't beneath me and if it paid better than unemployment, I'd be scrubbing gas station toilets right now. Three, not dealing with my Mother's death. Mom died when I was 14 years old and it wasn't until a few years ago did I realize the depressive state it put me in for years. I was numb and dumb for a great deal of years. My wife pointed out that I might want to see a counselor about it a few years ago. Now I don't think that it is necessary now, but it probably was at the time. I imagine if I had my head on straight after her death, I may have not of made some of these poor choice.

3) Lack of Follow Through.

Now, I could do a poll right now and chances are that all my friends and family would say unequivocally that I would do anything for them. I would go the extra mile to help out. I'd loan my last dollar if you needed it more than I, then I'd drive you to wherever you needed to spend it. But when it comes to myself, I usually stop mid stream. I'm notorious at starting a project and stopping half way though. This isn't a problem if it's just an idle pleasure like painting or reading a book, but it's a lot more serious when it comes to pestering employers for work or calling back on a resume. Sadly, it's gotten worse. The few times I have called back or talked to someone or received a response, it's all for an unpleasant outcome. Doesn't give you much hope to try harder the next time.

I'd like to think that it's just me, but it isn't. There isn't a week that goes by that I don't talk to someone who has it worse, or just as bad. Everyone is hurting right now, but what scares me is when the job market turns around and everyone is back to work, I'm still gonna be sitting at home washing dishes or doing laundry while looking through the classified ads wondering when it's gonna be my turn.

"Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives" -- My life as a soap.

Mike

So I'm Looking for a New Job... (Self Therapy)

2008-10-21T18:39:00.000-04:00

...and it's not because I wanted to be looking. In all seriousness, I probably should of been marketing my skills a long time ago. I used to joke that I was just one step up from a ditch digger, but in all actuality, I have a series of traits that are crucial to any employer. Not to toot my own horn, but "TOOT TOOT!" I have a Work 1st mentality. Not to say that work is actually first in my life, 'cause it isn't. My Family has that priority spot. But I have always been the guy who comes in early and stays late. I was the guy who you called to fill a spot and the one you knew who can work independently, without any serious amount of supervision. I consider myself intelligent, no genius mind you, but I can hold a conversation about a world of topics and love debating the undebatable. You know, Philosophy, Politics, Religion, Ethics, etc. etc. I'm a quick learner. I've done a little bit of everything and have taken a bit from each of them. I've done sales, retail, office, automotive, stock, clerk, child care, computer repair, homemaker and more. My devotion is rarely in question. I'm the definition of a "Good Employee"

My problems reside in my official "Skill Set", the one on paper, the one that is quantifiable and measurable. I only have a two year Associates degree. I am the guy everyone comes to for computer repairs or advice, yet I have no Microsoft Certification or technical training. I'm a self motivator and have learned much of what I know on my own. I have years of experience in an industry that is considered a nitch market and while I used many of the industry standards in computer software, I've used none of it in an advanced fashion, so Intermediate is as far as
I can morally state my education is in their use.

Here are some little known facts about my skills. I can paint miniatures, you know the kind that are used in table top war games. Big market for that I'm sure. I can weave Chainmaile. So I'll be a hit at the next Renaissance Festival in your area. I can reformat a computer and get it running again, but I can't tell you how to set up server architecture, how to make it inter-operable in a cross platform environment, set up account logins or extensive use of remote access.

My Point is, I have the drive to be someone special to an employer, but an inspiration is rarely a marketable skill.

Mike

I'm puzzled by the housing market...

2008-07-23T15:11:00.000-04:00

...and not just the mortgage industry, but in general, how the realty business and banks make any money with the asinine way they do things. Take a look at my predicament and judge for yourself what a peon like me could possibly do differently to get this done.

After just under two months of looking, making offers on homes, and being rejected or outbid on them, we finally found a house we liked, could afford, and made an offer. We opted to go with FHA financing, which is fine because this house is up to code. We made our offer, essentially an overbid because we are asking the bank who owns the property to cover the closing costs. Within a couple days they accepted our offer and said they had an addendum that needs to be signed.

We received the addendum and everything was in order. It was essentially some time lines and whatnot, just your standard paperwork for the bank. We signed it (After having it revised because they had some wrong names on the paperwork), and sent it to the bank along with a $1000 check, earnest money, to show we were committed to buying the house.

At this point we had to hire an inspector to look over the house to be sure we weren’t getting involved with a problem property. $250 later, he gives us the nod and says it’s good.

Then we have to have the FHA inspector come in to be sure it’s up to code. We took care of a few problem spots that would get flagged. We had to install a fire door between the garage ad the kitchen and paint the deck. $250 later, the FHA inspector gives us his blessing and O.K.’s the Government backed financing. The whole process take about 3 weeks and the mortgage people want their stuff and in the end we get our rate, everything is in order and we are ready to close…NOT.

Remember that addendum? The addendum that the seller bank wanted signed immediately. Their own paperwork, I might add. They have yet to sign it and return it to us. And until they sign off on it, we can’t close. And they are in no hurry to do so. In fact, repeated calls by our mortgage lady and now, my wife have resulted in nothing. They are not going to be hurried and don’t give a shit either.

Here is what puzzles me. The bank is sitting on a property, which is unoccupied and not making them any money. They are paying a larger than average insurance rate on the property and larger than average tax rate on the property due to the fact that it is not occupied as homestead currently. They only have to sign a few pieces of paper and not only will those bills go away, we’ll also give them $130,000.00.

Lack of patience aside, this is going to shortly cause me further financial discomfort. My locked in mortgage rate is only good until the 31st of July, at which point that may, and probably will, increase. I will have to pay for additional time at the rental storage unit as that’s only rented until the end of the month. Not to mention my renters want to move in ASAP because of their own agenda.

All I know is that if for some odd reason I do not get this house, I swear to cheese, I’m gonna sue someone. I’ll sue for lost time at work. I’ll sue to get my $1000 back plus interest. I’ll sue to get them to cover my inspection \ mortgage costs so far. I’ll sue for pain and anguish. Etc. Etc.

With that said, I believe will we still close this month, but my original question remains. How can these people do business like this and expect to remain profitable?

The Golden Compass: The Rant

2008-02-14T09:55:00.000-05:00

So I finished reading the first book in the "His Dark Materials" Trilogy, The Golden Compass, and I have some issues with it. I thoroughly enjoyed the strange setting. It felt unique, fresh; it had a similar feel but took it in a different direction. It was a sort of Indiana Jones fantasy keeping mired in ground scientific fact but altering those facts with a fantasy flair. I enjoyed the setting immensely. However, this book was written to be a trilogy and as such, we were chasing a McGuffin the entire book, only getting enough answers to make us ask further questions, which can only be answered by reading the entire trilogy. And while I respect the grandiose method of his story telling, and in his defense, he sells the whole trilogy as one book, I am irked by the serial nature of novels written for the younger audience. Furthermore, the big reveal at the end of the first book revolves around a sort of church bashing and alternative Judeo-Christian belief structure where the church seems to be the unnamed enemy to scientific knowledge as they have been seen historically, which doesn't bother me as it is a fictional tale loosely based upon our own reality, but it's almost an agenda and I can see why some Church groups were asking people to boycott the movie. I guess I should go see the movie now.

With that said, I recommend the book and I'll get around to the second book soon, after I finish reading Children of Men, which the movie was based on. I recommend the movie if you have not seen it. It's very good. The book is way different and also very good, if somewhat unrelated.

Rant over

Mikey

Just Like Everyone Else

2007-07-20T08:59:00.000-04:00

I am an individual
Just like everyone else

I have a plan
Just like everyone else

I think I can fix this
Just like everyone else

I have an opinion
Just like everyone else

But Mine Is Right
Just like everyone else

I THINK EVERYONE ELSE IS STUPID
Just like everyone else

i'm a failure
Just like everyone else

On Genetics

2007-07-12T09:08:00.000-04:00

I often wonder about genetics and how I am going to be impacted by what was given to me by hapinstance through my genetic disposition of being my parents offspring. Will I be predestined to get cancer as both my parents had suffered through it, my father twice? Will I have baldness like my father or does that skip a generation? Will I have stark white hair like my grandfather as his hair is snow white? If so, when?

Well, you can't predict if and when these things will happen, but I do know one thing that I acquired from my father which has onset most recently...Excessive nasal and ear hair growth. Yes, at the ripe old age of 31, I have nonstop, unmaintainable nose goblin hair issues and furry mammoth ears. I can't go one day without having to cut or pull out some disgusting rubbery snot covered hair which annoyingly clings to the side of my nose and often dangles freely for the world to see.

*SIGH*

Thanks Dad.

So I have a Myspace Page

2007-05-07T09:45:00.000-04:00

The Wife started a page for me on Myspace as a way to get me excited about it. I'm not real excited about it. I think, for the most part, Myspace.com is a novelty for children to goof off and trash talk each other. It's not something I have a real use for. With that said, I couldn't just stand by and see my page look as ugly as it was, so I decided to give it some personality. Don't expect me to add much to it very often though.

http://www.myspace.com/mike_campero

See new Poll on the right to chime in on how you feel about My Space.

Mikey

Sick Sick Sick

2007-05-04T14:56:00.000-04:00

What kind of Glorious God would teach others to kill over disagreement or differences? What kind of All Loving God would allow a 17 year old girl to be stoned to death in public for falling in love? I don't have the words.

Allah is better than this

Do I look like a Mario Party Person?

2007-04-30T13:36:00.000-04:00

So I was in Gamestop yesterday, when I got the Nyko Wii Charge Station (which is a very cool 3rd party product) and the girl behind the counter started her speech. I feel for her, I do. I used to work for Funcoland, which was eventually bought out by Gamestop and they had the same stupid upsell policies. Gotta push all the high margin crap that no one really wants. We used to sell subscriptions to Game Informer magazine and console cleaners, they still sell subscriptions to game informer and now they push video game & accessory preorders.

Anyways, she asks me if Id like to preorder anything, to which I politely state, "There is nothing coming out for the Wii that I want to preorder for some time."

She replies, as she is opening the pre-order book they have on the counter, "How about Mario Party 8?"

To which I reply, once again sternly but politely, "Do I look like a Mario Party Person?" Even though, I am, I don't look it.

She got the point, I thought, so she said, "Have you seen the new Mortal Kombat: Armageddon?"

"Yes" was all she got from me on that one.

"It has the coolest new control scheme, have you considered pre-ordering that one?"

"Not my kind of game", this time only sternly...the politeness was leaving me.

I bought my stuff and left. What I really wanted to tell her was, "I'm sorry you work for a mega billion dollar corporation that forces you to degrade yourself into a high pressure sales position without the glory or high commission return of say, a car salesman. I suggest killing yourself." But that wouldn't of been very nice.

Lets Talk Politics

2007-04-25T15:18:00.000-04:00

Someone once told me a little parable that went something like this, "If you are not a Liberal in your youth, then you have no heart. If you are not a Conservative as an adult, you have no brain." While I obviously don't buy into that, it does show a trend in a changing attitude that many Americans have. Let's face it, when it comes to politics, most American vote from the heart. We either get behind the candidate that says what we want to hear or perhaps we just vote for the candidate that has less skeletons in the closet.

We are soon going to be entering that phase where campaign ads are going to cloud our minds and crowd our TV's commercial time. We'll soon have to make choices on who is likely to win vs. who we'd like to actually see running our country. We'll soon see people says things and state opinions only to say the complete opposite in a years time. Thus is the nature of politics. This is nothing new.

History shows the political process as it is now, the many times redundant processes, the sometimes convoluted views, and the pandering to the public well being as far back as the ancient Greeks, or older still. We've learned little since that time. We still have scandal and people in power who make their own choices instead of choices for the wellbeing of the people who voted them in. The phrase, "For the people, by the people" is a joke, a sad joke with a bad punch line.

You take a look at some of possible Candidate options for, arguably, the most power person in the world, the President of the United States of America, and see the same sad story being retold once again. Every Presidential Hopeful has an angle, something to add verisimilitude to the American people. This candidate's wife has Cancer. That Candidate is a former First lady. They other guy won the popular vote but lost an election. Hey, that guy was a Prisoner of War in Vietnam. That guy is black. These things don't matter to an intelligent person, we look to the issues. It's the best we can do.

Don't vote on party lines. Take a look and see what everyone stands for, check into factors of consistency. Are they telling us one thing in middle class America, then telling the Millionaires another story all together? It's a game of cat and mouse, one we can never win, but lets use our heart as well as our brain. Let us look at both the liberal and the conservative. Lets give em both a chance to show us why they can make a difference. No matter how strange the ideas are, they can't be much worse than what we have now.

Apathy For The Dead

2007-04-18T16:51:00.000-04:00

33 Dead in Virginia. 32 Murders, 1 Suicide, and I feel nothing but apathy. It's horrible, but maybe I'm a little numb.

20 Iraq security forces executed

9 dead as Taliban steps up attacks

Dozens dead, wounded in bombings across Iraq

8 Dead 23 Wounded

Suicide attack kills 8 in eastern Afghanistan

Market, bridge bombings kill dozens in Iraq

Etc. Etc.

Stream of Consciousness

2007-04-17T10:03:00.000-04:00

I find myself at times letting my mind wander while at work. Sometimes it takes the creative route where I start conceptualizing ideas for Stories and essays, while other times it takes the introspective route where I contemplate my mistakes in life and how one goes about correcting them, or at the least, dealing with them in a civilized way. It's these introspective times where I believe the choices are made, sometimes subconsciously, to do or not to do the strangest of things.

The wife and I were having a conversation the other day about what she had talked about with her counselor. My wife said she sometimes had strange thoughts that cloud her mind,mean things, or hurtful things, things you wouldn't share with anyone and are thoughts that no rational person would act on. The counselor said these were completely normal and happened to everyone. The question I ask to myself concerns those who don't have the rationale to keep these thoughts in check. Take a look at columbine or more recently, the shootings at Virginia Tech. While they will never know exactly what was going through the heads of these people before they started their killing spree, we do know that something wasn't ticking correctly.

My introspection usually involves unresolved issues with my parents deaths and the unwarranted guilt I sometimes feel in regards to it. I've mentioned it before, but my mother died when I was 14, when I was at an in between stage in my life, where I knew how things worked but still played the role of a child. I was in the dark about the true condition of my mother, a lot of that probably had to do with my innocent outlook and predominantly optimistic viewpoints. So when she died, I was stunned. I mean, I never had time to deal with it, to talk to her...

The guilt I feel about my Dad is different. I felt maybe that I should of took a harder stance with him to be sure that he seen his doctors more often and that he took his medication properly, but in all actuality, none of it was my fault. He was an old man, who decided he didn't care anymore and he died for it.

I also introspect on my career choice and schooling. I have a two year degree which in itself is really nothing. I have a decent job where I feel comfortable, but I always feel inside that I could of been something more. With that said, I know my life isn't over and I could start fresh and change everything from here on out, but I've placed obstacles in my own path that will make the job many times more difficult that it should of been. My mistakes as a teen come to mind as the biggest obstruction to career change. It's hard getting work when you have to check the box that says, "Have you ever been convicted of a felony."

I seem to have issues with relationships with people as well. I bet if you polled everyone that knew me, the majority of them would say I'm a great guy, yet I don't have very many people in my life that I can say is a great friend. The friends I used to have have all gone and started there own things and we rarely (or never in some cases) see each other or hang out. It probably stems from my lack of motivation to just call people, or maybe I'm just giving out a vibe that pushes people away. I could just be an asshole and no one is mean enough to just tell me.

After all, every Mike I know is a jackass, including the one in the mirror.

Mike

An Ode To My Wonderful Wife

2007-04-12T08:20:00.000-04:00

So the wife was reading the last couple posts I made and asked me why I decide to post the stuff I do? What makes me want to start ranting about health and weight? It just comes to me. I feel like I need to express something and I take 5 minutes and I'm done. It's not a great literary piece or anything that going to get published. It's just one post on one guy's blog that hardly anyone reads. So she then says, how come you don't post anything about me (She must of missed those posts for when she was out of town )? In all seriousness though, my wife Susan doesn't get near the respect and acknowledgment that she is deserving of.

Susan is a wonderful woman, fantastic Mother, and has the most open heart of anyone I've every personally known. She takes her responsibilities very seriously and loves unconditionally. There is no doubt in my mind or in the minds of our children that Susan is the standard to which love should be judged against. I can say this because I see the anger in her eyes at times. There are people in her life that have hurt her greatly over the years, most of them close family members, and for the most part she still cares about them. She may not like them. She may not want to be around them. She still does care about their general well being.

Take her younger sister Anna for example. This child, who we raised as our own for 6 years, became a horrible plague on our home. She brought anger and hostility in far greater measure than typical teen angst should ever have allowed, and to no fault of our own, she has failed to develop into a useful member of society. In fact, she is a leach who is not yet ready to come to terms with responsibility and self worth. She has hurt us greatly over the years and in some people's minds would be deserving of a complete disownment. Not us though. Not my wife. She worries constantly about Anna's well being and the well being of her baby daughter. Susan struggles daily internally about wanting to take her in and try to save her versus letting her come to terms on her own. It's a constant conversation around our home with no real solution. The point, however, isn't how Anna can be saved or helped, it's that my wife is the kind of person that can forgive, forget, and still love.

And you should see her with our children. Never in my life have I seen kids so loved. These kids have never known the pain and heartache that my wife went through as a child. They have never feared for there well being. They have never feared that someone won't love them. They don't really know fear at all.

My wife loves me. I don't give her near the appreciation that I should and I certainly don't show her how much she means to me often enough, but I do love her. I have never felt a moment of doubt in our relationship that my wife has faltered in loving me. She has always been there for me and we have had times that have tested that love in the past and every time, Susan was still there for me to pick me up or kick my butt and get me moving in the right direction.

So I toast my wife, an Ode to the woman I love. Let this be just a portion of the total expression of love that I have for you, the mother of my children, the love of my life. I love you.

Mikey

Value in Obesity (The Cost of Health)

2007-04-06T09:58:00.000-04:00

We are creatures of habit and ritual. Many of us wake up and do the same exact things every morning. Some require that cup of coffee, others immediately head into the shower. Moreover, we tend to do the same things that our parents did. We share the same views and ideals and have the same sensibilities, or lack thereof. We are followers of our piers. In our constant need to not rock the boat, we do as others do, as they have always done. Occasionally we break the mold, but never to any extreme where we stand alone and completely dismissed by our friends and family. We are influenced by exposure. It's the whole reason that commercials are so pivotal in marketing. When you see the same things time and time again, things that are appealing in general, these become ideas and beliefs that we want to embrace. Now this is just a generalization of society, but one that fits the majority of the population. Now lets apply this generality to a specific topic, obesity and food choice. Here are some interesting facts:

Between 1962 and the year 2000, the number of obese Americans grew from 13% to an alarming 31% of the population.
63% of Americans are overweight with a Body Mass Index (BMI) in excess of 25.0.
31% are obese with a BMI in excess of 30.0.
Childhood obesity in the United States has more than tripled in the past two decades.
According to the U.S. Surgeon General report obesity is responsible for 300,000 deaths every year.

(http://www.americansportsdata.com/obesitystats.asp)

This isn't new. We all know that eating junk food with rot your teeth and make you fat, just like we know smoking causes cancer and alcohol kills brain cells. However common knowledge does not mean common sense. We have an inane ability to ignore the facts and make unwise choices. I blame habit, ritual and pure economics.

Many limits placed on us as a society are self imposed. You may decide that you refuse to do or say certain things, out of bad taste or self-conscious, but many of the limits we place on ourselves are more economic based decisions. I've never said that I'll never own a Ferrari because I hate the way they handle. I'll never own a Ferrari because I will never have the economic means to own a Ferrari, or the maintenance and insurance costs of owning a Ferrari. We are limited by our economic backgrounds and these limits often steer us into situations we have little control over, like our fast food menu choices. Almost every fast food chain has a value menu where you can pick from a list of items, giving you some variety of choice for a meal, and every item is about $1 each. So, Burger, Fries, Coke, Three dollars plus tax. What if you would actually like to eat healthy? All the big Fast food chain's sell a variety of salads, but you are going to pay about $5, give or take. Anyone on a budget can't afford to buck up that amount every time they go out, even if they just want to drink water with it. On a side note, most of those salads have about as much fat and calories at the greasy lower prices alternatives anyways.

Lets forget about fast food for a second. Lets say you pack your lunch every day when you go to work so that you can eat better. Even on the foods that you prep at home, you have to pay for the healthy choice. Cheaper meats are processed while full of fat and additives. Deli meats, while better for you, are also many times more expensive than your cheap Oscar Meyer alternative. We see this across the board. Spaghettios are cheaper than making your own spaghetti, if for nothing else, by saving you the prep time, but the fat and caloric content of a can of Spaghettios leads to far more pounds that doing it yourself. "For many households, the lack of money can contribute to both hunger and obesity. This apparent paradox is driven in part by the economics of buying food. Households without money to buy enough food often have to rely on cheaper, high calorie foods to cope with limited money for food and stave off hunger. Families try to maximize caloric intake for each dollar spent, which can lead to over consumption of calories and a less healthful diet." (http://www.frac.org/html/hunger_in_the_us/hunger&obesity.htm)

The American Obesity Association stated that the direct health care costs of obesity were $102.2 billion in 1999. Most of that was for treatments related to health issues brought upon by obesity like Diabetes, Hypertension, and several types of Cancers. (http://www.obesity.org/treatment/cost.shtml) As a society, we are actually paying for the cheaper costs of food in the end. We pay with higher health care costs. We pay with our health.

Of course, I'll admit that fast food, and economic choices aren't the only reason for the rise in obesity in the world. Other reasons include a more sedentary lifestyle of video games, television and creature comforts as well as ethnic and genetic predisposition to weight gain. It is that value that we put on obesity that is important. You assign a value to the choices you make. If you choose to eat garbage food then you value the fat and calories associated with that choice. To solve this problem is a challenge in itself. Just like many problems that plague us, we sometimes have to hit rock bottom to realize that we made a mistake. That may mean health issues are starting to materialize or maybe you just don't look good in certain clothes anymore. I implore you, regardless of how you do it, place a value in your health and do what you have to do to insure you get where you need to be.

So I weighed in at the doctor's office on Saturday

2007-04-02T11:22:00.000-04:00

Down 70 pounds so far. It's been less than 4 months since my gastric bypass surgery and so far I've had zero complications and lots of pant sizes lost. Pretty stoked.

Mikey

Haiku and a Thought.

2007-03-12T09:52:00.000-04:00

Ideas Differ
Emotions Run the Gambit
Love is the Answer

--------------

Ideas Differ

I occurred to me, as the wife was out of town for the weekend, that a needed piece of my life was missing. My wife and I would agree that we are complete opposites. On one level We have differing ideas, hobbies, interests. On a deeper tier though, we share something profound. Morally we are the same person.

Emotions Run the Gambit

We have always been the savior types, many times to our detriment. Between the two of us, we have rescued kittens and puppies, friends and family and more times than not it was for no benefit to us. In fact, it was usually more aggravation that it was worth. Internally though, in our hearts, it was the right thing to do. I say often that If I had $1 for every $100 owed to me, I could have a hell of a night out on the town, but I don't say it with anger. It's just part of who we are.

Love is the Answer

All through it though, we have love. Our family is a tight unit, able to go into battle together or just have a group hug, a heart felt hug, where My wife, two daughters and I can all leave with a smile on our face and a giggle in our heart, because it's real.

Mike

Time To Party -- Er...Time To Clean The House

2007-03-09T08:49:00.000-05:00

My Wife is going out of town this weekend, leaving the kids and I home by ourselves to indulge in some much needed Daddy-Daughter Time. It doesn't normally bother me when the wife leaves for the weekend as she doesn't do it very often, but this time we didn't get to spend very much time together this week as we have both been busy and I'm not going to see her before she leaves today either. Between work, hobbies, a job interview, and a couple sick daughters, time has been scarce. We’ll make up for that when she gets back.

In the meantime I’ll take this opportunity to play with the kids, clean the house and generally goof off and do nothing all weekend. I’ll probably veg out in front of the TV after the kids go to bed, play some video games or internet poker and generally relive the bachelor lifestyle…at least during the after bed hours.

So I had this job interview yesterday and I’ll be honest to say that I don’t think it went the best it could. I haven’t interviewed for a job in like 8 years and I certainly wasn’t my normal witty self. Furthermore, the interview was after a long day at work, a 40 minute drive and on an empty stomach. Hopefully the company will see through some of that and at least call me back for a second interview. We’ll see.

Mike

Much To My Surprise...

2007-03-07T11:00:00.000-05:00

I got a call last night from a fellow named David about my resume for the tutoring position. It seems that a local music school is branching out into academia and they are looking for a couple quality workers to help with this transition. As it would have it, I have an interview setup for Thursday evening after work and although David said he has many applicants to contact, screen and then possibly interview, I hope that I can make an impression on him that helps me stand out. Wish me luck.

Mike

The Search For a Second Job

2007-01-25T10:06:00.000-05:00

I havn't updated this since October. I appologize to those who await with baited breath at the opportunity to hear words of wisdom and encouragement from me and who have been left
unfulfilled up until this moment. Since I'm basically referring to no one, I'll just continue.

I've decided to look for a second job. A little supplimental income could really help out while the wife is finishing school. I thought about going to the mall and getting some assinine retail position, but there was a reason I left retail so many years ago...It sucks.

As friends of mine know, I have always desired to be a teacher. In fact, I've always desired to be that teacher that students will remember fondly upon reading of my death notice in a future years electronic newspaper's obituary section while wondering what the new dictator of America is eating for breakfast so that they also can eat that for breakfast as to not stand out as a meal-time criminal. But I digress.

So I was perusing the job ads in the local Craigslist section and came upon a job for a tutoring position and unlike many job ads on Craigslist, it doesn't look like a scam to take all of my money. Gleefully, I took to writing a new resume, a simple to the point resume highlighting my love for academia and pointing out this blog which may or may not be a mistake. If you are the Hiring manager of said Tutoring employer, and you are reading this, Hi.

In continuing, I'm not setting my hopes too high for this position, but I do believe that it could be an equally fun and frustrating endeavor and I'm hopeful that something will come my way that allows me to share my love for prose.

Mike

Life in the Sewer

2006-10-31T11:18:00.000-05:00

All stand alone in a hazy film of contortion and abhoration
surrounded by the filth of what existence stains our psyche.
Murky waste, putrid stench and devalued individuals
tarnish the nobility and strength of those who endure.
What plan is there for the sanitation worker of life?
Only to clean the garbage and continue on
until the garbage you become.

Vincent & The Doctor -- Chapter 3

2006-09-07T09:17:00.000-04:00

Chapter 3

"Vincent. I've heard this all before. I thought we were going to discuss what happened..."
"Doc, do you know why I'm here?" He interrupted. "I'm here because I'm not the kinda person who likes to be pushed around. I'll give anyone a fair shake, but I don't want to be messed with. I grew up on the dirty streets of New York and people ain't nice to kids like that so I learned to take what I needed, when I needed it."
"I remember this one time when I was a kid that my old man had me outside selling papers"

----------------

"Hey Mister, Read about the Titanic. Biggest boat ever sailing into New York harbor." I hollars at a grizzly fellow walkin' by. I usually stood there with a stack of papers bundled with cord sitting at my feet. It's a cold morning, still early spring, and my coat ain't damn near warm enough.
"Biggest boat ever eh?" The guy stops and grabs a paper.
"That's two cents mister," I said to the guy.
"Sell many papers this morning son?"
"Yes sir," then that grizzly bastard clocks me as hard as he could. I wake up and I ain't got my coat on. Looks like I'm in a alley, not too far from where I was standing. My face is all swollen and I wanna cry, until I see the guy still standing near the edge of the alley. He's looking out to see if anyone is near by while he's rifling my coat pockets. He turns to look at me and catched that I'm awake and gives me this smile that makes me sick. It's the kinda smile a guy gives when he sees his kid playing with a puppy or when he learns to ride his bike. From this guy, it's not a nice smile at all. It's not the last time I'll see someone smile at me like that either. He starts smacking me around and I start crying and screaming, but no one comes to help me. He jams something in my mouth, slams my face in the dirt and starts doing some pretty unmentionable things to me, things no man should be doing to a thirteen year old boy and then just leaves me there and walks off with a newspaper.
I drag my bloody ass home and start telling my old man how it all went down and I get a beating from him for lying to him. Then I get another beating when I tell him I ain't got any of the money from the papers. Then I get another beating the next morning when I can't get out of bed to go sell papers. I laid in bed all day, hurting and crying. Come to find out that stupid boat sank and I coulda sold every paper I could get my hands on. When I got beat for that, is when I realized that people ain't nice to kids.

----------------

"Vincent. That's not exactly why you are here you know."
"Yeah Doc, I know."

Vincent & The Doctor -- Chapter 2

2006-09-05T11:18:00.000-04:00

Chapter 2

"The French were happy to see the first ships arrive with the Americans. The American Expeditionary Force, as we were coined by politicians, were sent over to clean up this Kraut mess. I wanna say it was around July 3rd when I was dropped off. I remember someone wishing me a happy independence day. The days are blurry. After spending a couple weeks at sea, I was a mess. Sick as a dog and smelled just as bad. The doc cleared me for duty even though my guts were twisting and I was still spending more time on the commode, than off. They were moving us around a bunch too. Thousands of our guys were coming off the boats every day so they were shuffling us around like a bad card game. But it wasn't all bad, we had a few breaks and a couple days after I got there I was drinking a beer and shootin' dice with some guys from B company. I ain't had a beer in almost 2 years back in the states."
"I lost about forty bucks to this Alabama boy before someone sees him swappin' dice. I jumped over guys tryin' to get a piece of that skrawny farm boy and more importantly, my forty bucks back. One of his buddies pulls out a blade and starts swipin' the air around me."
"Git back 'fore I cut you up boy", he drawls.
"In two steps I take his knife away and break his nose. I had the skinny kid in my hands when two other southern boys grab me and drag me down. I'm clockin' these boys left and right. Pretty sure I broke one guys jaw. One of them nailed me good in the gut, knocked the wind out of me and my stomach started turning again. They all got sprayed with my lunch. Now I was Rolling around on the ground getting the shit kicked out of me. I think one of those Assholes broke one of my ribs. That's when this big dago comes out of nowhere swingin' a bar stool. Ha, there was rednecks droppin' everywhere like some kinda dime novel hero. I wasn't complaining though. He walks over to me afterwards, lends his hand to help me up and tosses me a wad of green. We then make a break for it before we get into any trouble. He tells me his name is Chuck, Chuck Huxley. I never did figure out why a big Italian boy had a name like Huxley. Didn't matter. I got more than my money back and made a pal. Of course I didn't know then that one day he was gonna shoot me."

Vincent & The Doctor -- Chapter 1

2006-09-01T11:19:00.000-04:00

Chapter 1

He opened his eyes quickly then shut them just as quick as the sunlight streaming through the open window shot daggers of pain into his already throbbing head. As he tried to adjust his eyes to the searing light of the room, he spots the moving shadow that stops before him, "G' Morning Doc."
"Good Morning Vincent," The shadowed form replied, "It seems you were rather harsh with the orderlies this morning. It seems they repaid you in kind."
Vincent's vision was improving as he could now see the room in some fashion. He was sitting in his usual place, on the over padded burlap couch, restrained, also per usual. He had a splitting headache and a new set of lumps along the base of his neck and shoulders, not unusual. "You'll forgive me Doc if I need a second to collect myself? The new cocktail of drugs you force on me makes it a little difficult to recover from the beating those clowns keep giving me." Doctor Ballard opened his mouth as if to reply but was cut off immediately, "Doctor Ballard, I wanna talk about what happened on October 17th now."
"This would now be the 4th time you've said this Vincent and..."
"If you'd just give me a sec to collect my thoughts Doc, I assure you, I ain't screwin' with ya."
"Very well Vincent." The Doctor sat back in his over-sized chair and scribbled a few notes onto his clip board. Vincent gives some thought to the two orderlies that worked him over a short while ago and grits his teeth almost painfully. The throbbing is lessening. He relaxes his jaw and feigns a smile.
"Where ya wanna start Doc?"
"Tell me about your time in the Army Vincent. This is where you met Mr. Huxley previously, wasn't it?
"Chuck Huxley..."

So Yeah, I'm Going To Dwell On It More

2006-08-23T08:10:00.000-04:00

I used to be close to my cousin Tracy. There is about 6 months age difference between us and we got along well as little kids. My Uncle John, Tracy's dad, got a job offer in Minnesota and ended up moving the whole family there. I still saw my cousin on holidays and on other special occasions. We used to write each other letters back and forth (remember when people used to write letters?). We were both teenagers, had problems and liked to have someone to talk to that didn't criticize us. Eventually, the letter writing stopped and we fell out of touch. Add to the fact that my life was in disarray for a few years, this isn't too surprising.

A few years ago, I started talking to her again, well, I should say that we talked a couple times and she asked about what happened to me for those "out of touch" years, so I wrote her an email about it. I just ran across the email and since I was going to tell this story anyway, I figured I'd just post the email.

(Original E-Mail edited for spelling, grammar and general cleanup. The text added in brackets is for clarification.)

[Tracy asked me about the child we lost and offered her condolences]
Thank you. Besides a degree, having a child is one of the most important things I've wanted since I got married. Anyways, sorry about not doing this sooner. This is one of those things you got to work up to do and being that I did this once, it's kinda hard to do it again. [I wrote this story out for her only to accidentally delete it prior to sending it] Anyways, I may sound redundant in some of the stuff I'm saying, I don't know what you know and what you don't, so I'm gonna say it all.

I'll start way back in the way back. I have to say, one of the fondest memories in my life was the short period of time when we used to write back and forth to each other. Before the Internet and before I was about to pay for long distance, letter writing is the next best thing. Kinda like having my very own pen pal and I just wanted you to know that I appreciated it. Every word, complaint and what not, even though I didn't always write back. At the time, I thought my life was pretty busy. Sha, it was nothing compared to what came later. My Dad is an alcoholic, and was pretty bad when I was growing up. Never violent mind you, but not the kinda person you like to be around when he's drinking either. After my Mom died, he started drinking some hard stuff. He was dry for a while, but life just got to him and he caved in and started drinking himself to sleep every night. I missed my Mom pretty bad, I still do, but I have to say that some of the best years of my life followed her death. Everything was easy, seemed to make sense, I had a plan and it was easy street.

Here's the plan. I'm going to school, honor student, got a job, getting $400 a month from Social Security because my Mom died. I gotta free ride to college, just gotta live at home and do my thing. Well, plan didn't work. When I was 16-17, my Dad lost his job. He was a maintenance Man at the Apartment complex we lived at, and every other week, he is on call to fix night emergencies and such. He decided to take care of one of these calls completely wasted out of his mind Drunk. Needless to say, he lost his job, we lost the Apartment and we had to be out in 2 weeks. My Senior Year.

We left everything. We had no where to put any of it. We could only take the essentials, I bet we left 95% of our stuff. We lost photo albums, books, pictures, furniture. I was a dumb unprepared kid and my Dad was depressed and out of his mind to think straight. He was moving to Detroit, to live with his old Friend Ole and I was welcome to go, but I was half a year from graduating from High School, so I stayed.

I slept on the living room floor at my friend Lloyd's house while I finished school. I had no privacy, no where to put my stuff, and no clue what I was gonna do. As it turned out it got worse. Lloyd's dad wanted me out, that or pay $250\month to sleep on his living room floor. I moved. I moved into the basement of a friend's Girlfriends house, well her Mom's house. It was at this time that I got a letter from Your Mom. I couldn't tell ya what the letter said, but I remember there was a check inside for like $130 and it said that all you guys (You, Kelly, Jason) [Kelly and Jason were Tracy's younger siblings] chipped in to send me some cash because you guys knew I was in a bad way. I never said it at the time and it's probably past due, but Thank You. It saved my Ass at the time. There were times when I didn't know where or when I was gonna eat. It really helped. A lot of people in the family kinda wrote me off during that time in my life. Most didn't really know what I was doing or if I even really cared what was going on. I think I showed up when Grandma Died but to tell you the truth, I don't remember. In fact, I block a lot of that time out of my head. Grandpa gave me money when I graduated, so did Uncle Mike, I probably didn't even say thanks. Like I said, I was really out of it for years.

Anyways, I stayed there, working two jobs, preparing to go to school.(I still had my scholarship) I got into school and moved onto the campus of Oakland University. Full ride, Finally, things are gonna turn around. I got pneumonia, BAD, about half way through the semester. So bad in fact that I had to leave and spend about 3 weeks recuperating back at the friend's GF's Mom's house. During that time I got into a Car accident, almost totaling my car, and almost lost my job because I couldn't stand up, much less work. I ended up failing my classes that semester because of it. I started over the second semester, back at campus. About half way through the semester, I found out that my scholarship didn't cover room and board. I had to leave the campus and drop out. I couldn't attend school, or graduate much less with a $3500 bill from the university.

I moved in with a different Friend's Mom while he was away at University of Michigan. I rented out his room at $200\month. I finally got a place to sulk and cry in private, it was nice for awhile. I continued trying back at school till the university told me I couldn't go back until the bill was paid. So, I got a job, or two. At one point I had two full times and a part time job, but no idea what I was gonna do. I ended up falling behind on my rent, and had to move out. I moved in with a girl I worked with, renting out a room in her Trailer. Things were starting to look alright now, I was starting to get my head, and realize what life was about. The trailer sucked, it was drafty and freezing during the winter, the water went out all the time, as well as the heater. At one point the water pipes burst and Jenny, the girl I rented from, told me she was staying at a friends till she could get money to fix it. No water, No sewer. It was starting to suck again.

On a side note, I feel I need to say something. Susan was my girlfriend this entire time [My Wife now], still living at home with her Dad and step mom. She is the one and only thing that kept me sane during this whole bad time in my life. She was a level head when Mine was all over the place. I owe her my life, which I ended up giving her in marriage years later.

Anyways, Susan Graduated about the time the water went out of the Trailer. She took her graduation money and her adn I moved out together in out first apartment, rather an efficiency. Two rooms, the bathroom and the other room which posed as kitchen, living room and bedroom all in one. Anyways, things got better from there, mostly because of Susan. I was still a drone for years, just kinda doing what I did and getting what happiness I could find, when I could find it.

Well, everything is great now, but everyone I mentioned in this little recap (Family, friends, etc etc) has been impacted negatively through those 2-4 years. I don't know any of my family anymore, Most of those friends don't speak to me anymore because I used them up years ago. You know every year, for years, I would hear, in passing, how everyone was going to MN or traveling to Vegas or yadda yadda, and never once was I invited. Most of it was talked about in passing, like it slipped out in front of me.

My feelings were hurt for years, still are sometimes. Everyone in this family (and I'm generalizing, I know) Has wrote me off at one point or another because they thought I wrote you guys off. The fact of the matter was, I had nobody to help me. Not one God Damned Person, except Susan in my life. I couldn't think straight, much less think of others. I took what I could, and I hurt a lot of people on the way. My Mom is dead, my Dad was useless for years, and I really needed help. I didn't know how to function out in the real world, I didn't know how to ask for help, I didn't know where to seek help. I lost everything in my life. Every time I moved, I lost something. A photo, a letter, a toy, something. My Mom wrote me a letter of goodbye before she died. I lost that. That hurt me for years that I lost that.

OK. I sound vengeful and full of hate and spite. I'm not. Just hard to think about how things were when I cant think of good things to think about.

So that sums up about 3 years of my life, since then, it's been better, I'll tell ya about those another time.

People

2006-08-22T12:56:00.000-04:00

Everyone knows people in their life that are from another time or another place but don't see them very often. Maybe you went to school with them. Maybe they are related and live far away. Regardless, these people fall into two categories. Either, you act like no time has passed and you are still the greatest of friends. You spend the time reminiscing and catching up. You show legitimate concern of problems of theirs and issues they have, and they feel the same about you. OR, you have this uncomfortable feeling between yourselves. There is some history or lack of history that leaves a haze over your relationships. One side or the other may show genuine concern, but the other shows an apathy or general distance. Many times, things are said, "How have you been?", or "Still in the same job?", where the answer is a quick yes with little elaboration. More times you don't have much to say at all. You find that you really don't know these people anymore and you're not sure you ever did.

Take my best friend growing up, Al. We had a falling out because of money and a difference of opinion, mainly about my wife's cousin and didn't speak for a couple years over it. We rarely speak now, and its just generic whatever stuff.

Take The best man in my wedding, Elliot. We had a falling out over my wife. I don't really speak to him anymore at all. When I do run into him, its the quick, distant chat.

Look at my brothers and sisters. I was the child that wasn't supposed to be. My next youngest brother was 15 years old when I was born, so that pretty much means I didn't grow up with them. By the time I was old enough to be a responsible adult, they have already been there, done that and we have little in common.

The closest people in my life are my wife, my children and my wife's family and I can't figure out exactly when it happened. Did most of my family and friends just forget about me, did I forget about them, or both? I'm not really sure. There was a time in my life where I wasn't sure when I was gonna eat next or where I was gonna sleep. When I did have a place to sleep, I had little privacy and little more than a rolled up mattress on someones living room floor. It was probably this time where I lost friends. I used some of them until they were tired of me. It was probably this time where I lost touch with family as I was too busy trying to survive to keep in touch.

Regardless of why it happens, it happens. So I guess I can either deal with it and move on or continue to dwell on it further.

Update Problem fixed again

2006-06-29T08:19:00.000-04:00

I have corrected the update problem for those who haven't been getting updates. As If I've even posted anything in the last month, lol. I also corrected issues with updates being posted for the wife's blog at susans-spot.blogspot.com

So here is a poem I'm working on, it's a little rough and I'm stuck on it.

Roses are Red

I Didn't Want To Grow Up, Still Don't

2006-05-25T08:51:00.000-04:00

OK, so here's the deal. I grew up and I'm not who I wanted to be when I grow up. I could probably leave it at that and a great deal many of you would nod in agreement, know exactly what I'm talking about, and feel either sorry for me, yourself, or both of us. I, however, like to ramble in a self-help sort of way about my life, so here it goes.

I was a child of the 80's and had fantastic dreams. I was a comic book reader, watched G.I. Joe and very much wanted to be a super hero. I wasn't very grounded to reality as a child, which is fine when you are a child. I had two loving parents, who spoiled me so. I had free reign to do just about anything I wanted to, within reason. I've never seen what hardship was really like and thus never had to learn about it till it hit me later in life. I went to Detroit Public Schools, and while I now criticize the Detroit Public School system, at the time, it worked well enough for me. I had teachers who generally cared about me as a student and it wasn't until later in life, looking back, that very strange things happened in school. For instance, a substitute teacher who constantly touched one my friends and did strange things like taking 100 sheets of paper and tried to cut them in the paper cutter all at once. He'd slam the blade down over and over again as if to intentionally try to creep out the kids. At one point, the principle asked us to each write down the events of one particular day regarding this teacher. I suppose it would be used against him in court or when he was fired. As a child who lived in fantasy world though, these events meant nothing, but I could see some other children get really spooked by this, maybe kids from a lesser family structure, one of abuse. I'm getting sidetracked.

People who choose to enter in a career of education are special people. They do it because they truly want to see children succeed. Now if they feel that way after working 10 years in an inner city school district where you have to buy your kids their supplies because neither the parents nor the school district can afford them, is a totally different story. Regardless, they start out with good intentions. Here is some Irony for you. When you are a "bad" kid in school, the teachers punish you and remind you that if you continue down this path that your life will be more difficult and you'll never amount to anything. They get the lower end of the education scale and most fulfill that teacher's premonition. When you are the "good" kid, you get the better end of the education and the teacher's praise, which goes straight to your head. You are never warned about what happens if you stray from the path, because you were never punished. But they had good intentions and that is what counts.

So yeah, I made some mistakes and man, did I have some excuses:

My Mother died when I was 14 years old.
My father was an Alcoholic and spent a lot of time drunk.
My Dad lost his job and we lost our home when I was 16.
Thus, I was living on my own at 16.

OK, so there are some of the excuses for the fact that, as a spoiled child, I had no idea what life was about or how to take care of myself. As for the mistakes I've made, I can't even begin to list them all, so I'll touch on the big one that will haunt me for the rest of my life. I was convicted of a four count felony when I was 18 years old. Officially worded as the "Misuse of a financial transaction device", but essentially credit card fraud. Here's the story. I was working at a service station, mostly nights, and one day this guy comes in to buy some cigarettes and wants to know if he can get cash back on his credit card. This is against the store policy, but he was very persistent. Obviously, he was either a drunk or an addict and needed a fix, by the look of him. I relent, charge his card $20 and give him cash from the drawer. Of course, if this was a one time occurrence, It wouldn't of been a big deal, but he came in three times that week with the same request. After the third time, I told him to go elsewhere. It then occurred to me that the reason he kept coming back was because we had a $20, no validation, system. Meaning, to save the company money by avoiding associated fees from the credit card companies, they wouldn't validate the transaction if it was $20 or less. It would just automatically be approved. Many fast food restaurants use the same system in their drive thru to save time. So, the smart thing would of been to report it so that my butt would be out of trouble. But since we are talking about mistakes I made, I'll tell you what I really did. I put his credit card number in, took $20 out of the drawer and put it in my pocket. Over the course of 3 months, I supplemented my paycheck with stolen money amounting to about $5000.

So, I lost my job, ended up being convicted on 4 counts, had to pay back every dime plus about $2000 in court costs, did 100 hours of community service and now have to check that little box on employment applications that says I've been convicted of a felony. That, is the worst part. I'd wager that you'd be surprised on how often this effects your life, especially your employment. If I was the bad kid, the teacher would of said that I wouldn't amount to anything. In the United States, It is illegal to segregate against employment based on Religion, Race, Color, National Origin, Sex, Disability, Age, Marital Status, Height, Weight, Genetics, Family Status, or Arrest Record. If you are convicted of a felony, however, no employer has to hire you at all. Furthermore, you are obligated by law to let your employer know you have been convicted of a felony when this information is requested.

So there I was, working to pay off my bills, with dreams of returning to school to do something with my life and I now have to start over. Here's the real smack in the face that I gave myself. I want to be a teacher. I want to teach high school literature, read essays, grade papers and to help kids in the inner city school district to find something better than what they see every day. The problem is, regardless of my best intentions, the State of Michigan doesn't allow convicted Felons to obtain teaching certificates.

So, I've come to terms with the fact that I'll have to live without fulfilling that dream. Luckily, I found an employer that was willing to give me a chance with the full knowledge of my past mistakes. So I take my time, moving slowly through any decisions I have in life. Career changes are virtually impossible, unless it's a career in gambling which take people from all walks of life, so they tell me, or I start a company of my own. I'd hire me in a heartbeat.

I'd love to be a kid again. I'd love to live that carefree life of comic books and G.I. Joe, cartoons and video games. I'd love to have zero responsibility. I'd love to start over and do it the right way this time. Yeah, Whatever.

Haiku & A Story

2006-05-19T08:15:00.000-04:00

A Child Cherished
Another Child Destroys
The Butterfly's Death

As much as I cherish nature now, as a child I had a different viewpoint. I was that kid who spit on ant hills and squashed bugs, never caring what so ever about it. It wasn't until my dad asked why I was stomping on ants that I finally understood. My dad explained to me to me that bugs weren't allowed in the house, but outside was their home and while they are just bugs, we shouldn't go around killing them just because. I've followed that creed since that day for the most part, except for earwigs. Those bastards die on sight.

Before my dad gave me this advice, however, I had already had a run-in with someone with an alternate viewpoint. There was this kid Danny down the block. Kind of a dorky kid, but his parents spoiled him and he had all the cool toys. He had a bunch of Atari games. So one day I'm hanging out at his house and he shows me something. Looked like a big bug caught in a spider web. He said his dad told me it was a caterpillar that made a cocoon and that after a while he would hatch into a butterfly. He was very happy about this. I imagine it had more to do with a bonding between him and his father than anything else, but he couldn't wait to see the butterfly emerge from the cocoon. So he goes in the house to get a toy or glass of water or something and I grab a stick and smash the cocoon. I just give it one big hit. It poured out a green pussy goo. The thing inside twitched a bit then stopped moving. When Danny came out of the house and saw the smashed caterpillar, he was devastated and started to cry. He yelled at me and ran into his house. Danny wouldn't talk to me for a few days after that.

I don't know why I smashed Danny's caterpillar. I don't remember doing it out of spite or meanness, more of something to do while I waited for Danny to come out of his house. I later apologized as I didn't like that I hurt Danny, but at that point could care less about a bug. I was probably 6 or 7 years old, so our moral compass was still developing. Between this incident and the talk my Dad gave me, I started to realize that killing stuff was wrong. It's pretty common sense actually, but when you are just a kid, you don't understand concepts like death and have to learn what they mean. It's just that I remember when I learned it. Most don't.

Science & Snails. Philosophy & Humanity.

2006-05-18T11:28:00.000-04:00

Science always intrigued me as a child. It is that unknown and mysterious nature that boggles the mind and gets you dreaming. My earliest job aspirations were of being an astronaut. And why wouldn't they be? We are shown stars and space and they say that one day, our generation will be living on the moon or other planets. I wrote crappy science fiction stories in my English classes and looked through telescopes in science. It was all very fascinating.

As I reached high school, I began to appreciate science in nature, things like how cells processed energy, photosynthesis, mitochondria, and endoplasmic reticulum. Don't worry if you don't know what these things are, just know that they are very small and very cool. But where I began to truly appreciate our world, is in life itself. The animals, the insects, babies; all pique my interests.

My current case study is the rock garden behind the office building where I work. There are three suites in the building, all have a back door, and except for ours, none are used. Ours is only used sporadically to cut through to the party store in the lot next door. There is a 8 Ft. long rock garden, usually overgrown with weeds, partially shaded by trees that runs the length of the building. It is here that we have, of all things, snails.

During most of the warm months, you see them occasionally, one here or there. Sometimes you see the cracked shell of one that was perhaps stepped on, or found by a random bird. For the most part though, this is their private little safehaven for the few snails that live here. When it rains though, watch out. The snail army comes out in bulk. They are literally everywhere, On the walls, in the rocks, on the trees, everywhere. I can't help but to step lightly and carefully to avoid crunching them and for a moment I admire them as I do all lesser creatures.

A snails life is simple. When times are good, they frolic and play everywhere, albeit slowly. When times are bad, they lock themselves away in their shell until times are good again. They never know what life's about, nor do they care. They don't worry about life or death. They don't worry at all. They follow the instinctual pattern of survival in it's most simplistic form and it works out pretty good for them. There is something to envy in that.

Conversely, being human is both a blessing and a curse. We have been endowed with the intelligence to understand our environment. We knowingly have a purpose. We can love and hate, respect and despise, advance and withdraw. However we are cursed to know about death and loss and all the inner pain that accompanies it. Our survival is a matter of constant worry.

You sometimes see people who live the snail's life, one of fun. When life throws it's worst at them, they just hide in their little shell until mother nature bails them out with good times again. Of course mother nature in this case isn't a nice rain, its a family bailout or government program. Another issue all together. But even if you do run and hide from life's problems, the very fact that you are human gives you the ability to be disturbed by the events around you. You worry. You cry. A snail just goes to sleep.

Where I'm going with this is simply that we need to observe ourselves more as well as the world around us. You can envy the simple life of the snail but shouldn't respect it. It's a life of simplicity and ignorance. We should be proud that we have the knowledge and wisdom to wish we didn't have the knowledge and wisdom, because unlike the snail, we see the good and bad in life and can't hide away in our little shells.

Caste Clarified

2006-05-17T09:05:00.000-04:00

I was recently called out in humor when an acquaintance of mine said that I use words like ghetto a lot to explain events in my life. I told him, "I try to relay the feeling of being a lower middle class person living in an upper lower class city with the goals of an upper middle class lifestyle and a dream of being an upper class elitist." Of course, this needs some explanation.

I live in Pontiac, Michigan, a suburb of the Greater Metro Detroit Area. It's about 30 miles north of Detroit. In fact, before living in Pontiac, I spend the first 10 years of my life in Detroit, which to most people, sounds like the beginnings of a thug turned superstar, rags to riches movie, or a horror movie, same difference. South East Michigan was once the epicenter of the automotive industry, it still has a great presence, but no where the impact it once did. So what this means is that where once stood great automobile manufacturing plants, now stand large empty buildings awaiting improvement, real estate reclassification, or demolition. This, of course impacts the economic well being of Michigan and whatnot, but that's a whole different story. Just know that where greatness once stood, now is ruin.

What this means to me, and many other gen X'ers in Michigan, is a sort of failed promise. We grew up in a school system that taught us that an education was the answer to all of our dreams, but a society that showed us that working at the plant was a desirable lifestyle, and both failed. If you chose to follow the path of education, you were fighting an uphill battle in the Detroit school system which is an urban disaster of corruption and wasted money. Detroit is losing thousands of citizens every year, which means less money, less taxes, and poorer school districts. Try telling a child who can barely speak legibly that he can be president some day. On the flip side to this is the dream of vocational work, those who chose to go into the automobile industry or related trades. This ended up also being a false promise as the job market is falling apart with jobs being shipped around the country and to lower cost manufacturing plants in other countries. Not that this is a bad thing, but an unfortunate side effect of big companies making big money. This however is no condolence to the person who chose this work path, which coincidently is basically an unskilled worker.

So where does this leave me? I'm an in betweener. I have enough education to keep me out of trouble, with just a few marketable skills. I fell into a few bad decisions as a teen and marked myself enough so that I can never obtain the American dream through traditional means, but we dream anyways.

Thus, "I try to relay the feeling of being a lower middle class person living in an upper lower class city with the goals of an upper middle class lifestyle and a dream of being an upper class elitist." Does that make sense?

Judgment Day

2006-04-27T14:30:00.000-04:00

For those that have been following the audacity that is my 10 days of suspence, the big day is upon us. I'm sure you will find this to be a complete let down as this was mostly an exercise to get me to start posting more frequently, but it had a purpose, and I don't really care. Although it is doubtful on how successful it was. Let’s go over the clues:

9 Days left & First Clue : Curiosity killed the cat

This was a little rhyme I wrote when I was still in junior high school and thought I was Gangster Rapper white boy. Coinsidently, I used to go by the moniker of Count M&M. Strangely, another white boy from Detroit goes by a very similar name. I guess people don't always end up like they start. This is the idea I wanted to get across with my first clue. Only those who are very close to me would remember this, and most don't read this blog anyways, so no one got it.

8 Days : The world looks mighty good to me

This was the Tootsie Roll theme song from the early 70's, although I do believe the commercials are still being played today. I used to sing this song out loud and very loud at that when I was a child to get attention. Once again, only those close to me when I was younger would of understood this clue. I never said these clues would be easily solved.

7 Days : (Ring Photo)

This was just an amusing clue for the most part, an attention getter if you will. This is from the movie, The Ring (or Ringu in Japan). The movie had a horror tone where the people would only have 7 days to live after watching a haunted video cassette. I thought it fitting. You're all gonna die.

6 days : What do Caravaggio and Theo Tresbend have in common?

Caravaggio was a famous Italian painter, made more famous recently due to a book released called The Lost Painting, which told about his life and the search for one of his greatest pieces thought lost for hundreds of years. Two points in this part of the clue. First, Caravaggio wasn't his real name, it was actually Leonardo, but he hailed from the city of Caravaggio, so history deceitfully changed his name. Second, he was in a bar fight where he killed a man. This leads us to Theo Tresbend. Theo was a union guy who worked in Management in the 40's and 50's. He was on the side of the workers and would of been a prominent figure in Michigan Union politics had he not been in a bar fight where he killed a man, or so the story is told. I met Theo when I was a child in a bar with my father where he told this story all the time. He said he served 15 years in prison and was thusly ruined, became a drunk and did nothing with his life till he died some years later. The story came out after he died that Theo was just a liar and told that story to impress local bar patrons, mostly women. The truth is, he was just a Drunk and was unemployed most of his lifeand never did anything important in his life.

5 Days : Have you ever wondered what crow actually tastes like?

With 5 days into this 10 day process, I wondered if this would just be me putting my foot in my mouth. A few family members had been trying to figure this out and I believed would be let down by the whole ordeal. I, of course, decided to continue with my 10 day project, regardless of the outcome. This wasn't much of a clue as it was a statement.

4 days : 2, 6, 35, 10, 12, 5, 5

These were the unique visitor numbers to my web site since I started my 10 day project. It drops on the weekends. My average is about 4 unique visitors \ day. The 2, was the day before this all began.

4 days : Philippe Petit has the right ideas on this.

Philippe is a French high wire artist known for his daring bravado in publicity stunts that could get him killed. Have you figured out where I'm going with this yet?

3 days : Like Natasha was for Piers Anthony

Natasha was a character in the Incarnations of Immortality saga by Piers Anthony. Natasha spelled backwards is "Ah Satan". He was know for being a liar and someone who twists the truth for his own gains.

2 Days : (Photo of Saddam Statue being brought down)

At the time these photos were taken throughout Iraq, they came with great emotional sentiment. However, it was later told that these pictures were, at many times, staged by U.S. forces and our allies as a sort of publicity stunt or propaganda during the early stages of the Second Iraq War.

1 day and Final Clue : GoldenPalace.com

GoldenPalace.com is an online gambling site which has received recognition as being involved in the purchase of many strange and unique items and other expenditures for publicity. Some items would be the Image of the Virgin Mary in the grilled cheese sandwich, a kidney stone that once resided in William Shatner's body, and the naming rights to a new species of Monkey now known as the Goldenpalace.com monkey.

So what was I trying to do? Well, if it’s not obvious, this was a publicity stunt. One by which I hoped to garner more attention and viewers to my blog. Had I actually supplemented these 10 day entries with actual content this may have been a success. I gained a few new viewers on average so I intend to start a vigorous campaign of bloging soon. Sorry if it was a big let down. It was fun for me at least. Thanks for reading.

1 day and Final Clue

2006-04-27T08:49:00.000-04:00

GoldenPalace.com

2 Days

2006-04-26T08:51:00.000-04:00

Never Believe What You See (How Not To Play Poker)

2006-04-25T09:53:00.000-04:00

I sit down to play in a couple Hold-em Poker tournaments last night. These are for the Pioneer Poker League, which is a free league I play in. It's free and mostly for fun, but if you finish in the top 100 in points over a 4 month period, you get to go to a tournament of champions where winner gets sponsored into a real money event. I'm on the bubble for the top 100 and I needed to finish in the points in both of the two tournaments last night. So I played tight.

Early in the first tournament, I get KQ suited in middle position, one limper to me. I raise it to 3X the big blind. The Small blind folds, big blind re-raises to 6X the big blind, the limper raises again to 12X the big blind. I fold. As good as that hand is, with two other guys in the pot, chances are I would be losing cash. Flop would of given me two pair, Kings and Queens and with the King on the river, I would of had the Boat. They only had marginal hands in comparison. I finished that tournament 6th, so I needed a big finish is tournament two.

Thinking a little aggression would help, I went into tournament two with some piss and vinegar in my veins. First hand, cards are dealt. I'm in middle position again, the table folds to the guy on my right. He looks at his cards and I can see his cards. He has 24, one club, one spade and limps in. I'm thinking he should of folded, but whatever. I get A9 suited and raise it. Big blind re-raises it, limper calls, I call. Flop comes AJ8, two clubs. I have no flush possibility, and limper only has a back door flush with no pair. He raises. I think, WTF? I call. Big blind re-raises, he calls, I re-raise. Everyone calls. OK, I know the limper has nothing, so when no club falls on the turn, I have him. I have to get the other guy off the pot. Limper raises again, I go all in. The big blind thinks hard for a while and folds, saying he had the best hand. Limper calls and we reveal our cards. I have top pair and he doesn't have 24, one club, one spade, he has 24, clubs suited. He ends up with his flush and I end up busted out on the first hand. All because I thought I saw something I didn't. If I had played that hand without seeing his hand, I would of folded after all the action started. The other guy had pocket jacks.

Dumb.

3 days

2006-04-25T09:04:00.000-04:00

Like Natasha was for Piers Anthony

4 days

2006-04-24T08:55:00.000-04:00

Philippe Petit has the right ideas on this.

4 days

2006-04-24T08:52:00.000-04:00

2, 6, 35, 10, 12, 5, 5

5 Days

2006-04-23T10:52:00.000-04:00

Have you ever wondered what crow actually tastes like?

6 days

2006-04-22T01:00:00.000-04:00

What do Caravaggio and Theo Tresbend have in common?

7 Days

2006-04-21T07:36:00.000-04:00

I think I'm going to go shoot myself now

2006-04-20T14:19:00.000-04:00

I just spent 15 minutes explaining to a co-worker how to save an excel file in a particular folder on our server.The tricky part is creating a folder if it isn't already there. She is now filling up an entire sheet of paper with step by step instructions on how to accomplish this task. The sad part is when she needs to do this again, she will spend 20 minutes reviewing her notes before attempting the saving procedure, followed by 10 minutes of slowly going through the procedure, only to screw it up and ask for help which will cause me to have to then spend 15 minutes explaining the process anew.

She has since moved on to the second page of notes on this procedure. With much pleasure, she showed me that she could go through it all by herself. Then I had to go and delete all the extra folders she put on the server that were unneeded while she was practicing.

*BANG*

Why was she hired you ask? 2 Things.

1) She was hired to do menial tasks which no human being would want to do which she does very well. The problem is that when she was hired in 18 years ago, these tasks were a big part of our business which they no longer are. She needs to be useful or she will have to be let go from a financial stand point so the boss tries to teach her news things to make her useful again.

2) She's the boss's wife's sister.

*BANG*

8 Days

2006-04-20T08:36:00.000-04:00

The world looks mighty good to me,
cause Tootsie rolls are all I see.
Whatever it is I think I see,
Becomes a Tootsie roll to me.

Tootsie roll how I love your chocolaty chew.
Tootsie roll I think I'm in love with you.
Whatever it is I think I see,
becomes a Tootsie roll to me.

9 Days left & First Clue

2006-04-19T10:44:00.000-04:00

Curiosity killed the cat
But I gotta gat
How 'bought that?
Ratta Tat-Tat
Now my pockets are fat.

9 days.

10 Days

2006-04-18T10:48:00.000-04:00

Something exciting is going to happen in 10 days. Stay tuned.

White Noise

2006-04-07T12:56:00.000-04:00

It's been argued in relationships that you can sometimes, inadvertently, tune out someone who is talking to you. Everyone does it one time or another and some are worse than others. I'm sure it has a lot to do with the person's attention span or what's on his or her mind at the time and mostly it's a forgivable offense. However, I have discovered another phenomenon, which I'm sure isn't exclusive to me, but it certainly pertains to me. I AM WHITE NOISE.

Take this scenario. You are sitting at your desk in the office and a co-worker enters the room. There are several other co-workers in the room, each at their own desks but all within ear shot. You strike up a conversation with the person who just entered the room, about a topic you may have been discussing privately earlier in the day. This sparks a story from the person who then walks away from you to tell the story to the other person or persons in the room, out of earshot to you. You are left sitting their wondering WTF just happened. That person is me.

Now people don't do this on purpose, mostly, and like I said, it's forgivable. There must be something about me that spurs this event because it happens a lot. I mean, It happens all the time. The other day, I was telling my wife something that happened at work. I had her full attention and right smack in the middle of one of my sentences, she turns to her sister and starts talking about something completely different, cutting me off entirely. Now this has a lot to do with being comfortable with a spouse and how things that you say remind them or important things that they forgot, and that's all and good. It just happens a lot. I mean, it happens all the time.

My white noise ability is so powerful that it even effects me. I'll be saying something important, at least I thought it was important. Someones attention will float away as it often does and when they get back to me, I don't even remember what I was saying. This happens a lot. I mean it happens all the time.

While this can be damaging to the ego after the nth time it happens, I take it in stride. Wait, what was I talking about?

Strange How Things Happen

2006-03-24T08:57:00.000-05:00

I was perusing Craigslist the other day to find a part time job listing that I may be interested in. We could use the extra cash and If I could find a simple job on a few evenings or weekends, It'd be great. So I see this listing looking for people who know Texas Hold-em. I thought, I know Texas Hold-em. I mean, I probably watch 10 hours of poker on TV a week. There is a poker league in S.E. Michigan called the Pioneer Poker League that plays in local bars and restaurants pretty much every night of the week. The job was to setup and run these free tournaments.

The job was not good for me, but the idea of playing in some free Hold-em tournaments sure tweaked my interest. I guess the deal is, you gain points every time you finish top 10 in a tournament and after 3 months, the top 100 point getters play in a championship tournament where the winner gets sponsored into a real money event like a WPT cruise or WSOP event in Vegas, all expense paid. Needless to say, I have a new hobby and hopefully, if I play my cards right, I'll get a chance to win some real money, retire early, and live the life of Riley.

BTW, still looking for a good part time job.

A Series of Unfortunate Events Part 4

2006-03-20T08:08:00.000-05:00

I went out to my car to leave for work this morning and noticed that my dashboard was ripped apart and my stereo was missing. When it rains, it pours. The worse part about this is the CD they got in the CD player. Now I have to get it again.

Do You Eat The Crust?

2006-03-17T12:47:00.000-05:00

There are only a few types of people in the world when it comes to dealing with problems. I'd like to think that the majority of them are good, caring people, who generally don't want to do harm to others, but their intentions have little to do with how they deal with issues. I've learned to generalize these types by comparing them to the Crusty ends of a loaf of bread. That piece of bread that is completely covered by crust on one side symbolically stands for that which we like to avoid.

There are people that avoid the Crust. They dig down to the next slice of bread, avoiding it all together. These are the kind of people who like to avoid problems, sometimes pretending they don't exist. The person who walks away after dropping the Mayo jar in the aisle of the grocery store. These are sometimes angry people, who lash out when questioned.

There are people that seek out the Crust. They'll take it so that others don't have to worry about it. These are the mother types who filter the bad from a child's eye, or a guy who runs into a flaming building to save a puppy. Hero types, do-gooders.

There are people that just take whatever is in front of them, crust or not. These are the apathetic. They don't avoid issues, but don't seek them out either. People who go to work every day, pay their bills on time, clean up after themselves, but don't necessarily work their hardest, make extra payments, or scrub the toilet.

Then there are the people who eat the crust if that's all is left. The problem with these people is they avoid issues until they can't be avoided anymore, then they are stuck with two crusts for their sandwich.

Take the Poll on the right. What Kind Of Crust Eater Are You?

Greek Town Casino & Customer Service

2006-03-15T08:54:00.000-05:00

I'm the best man in my wife's Sister's wedding. So I decided to take out my soon to be brother-in-law to the Greek Town Casino, downtown Detroit, last Saturday. I figured a night of gambling, good eats, and entertainment would be a welcome change for a guy who has four young children at home. The entire party consisted of the Soon to be Groom, his brother, a childhood friend, a neighbor, and myself. We decide to park in the attached parking garage and because it's a Saturday, the garage was packed. They have a connected walkway on the 3rd floor of the garage to take you through a restaurant\shopping area, then a small walk across the street into the casino.

Now from here on, I had several run-ins with the staff at the Casino and my experience with them fell into two categories. Either I was incredibly pleased or completely alienated by them. The first encounter was with the security guard at the entrance. He was checking ID's and looking for suspicious characters. This fellow was a joy to deal with. You can tell he loved his job and loved conversing with the patrons. Good start. I was pretty overwhelmed by the casino at first. Being my first time there, I really didn't know where anything was. This was the Grooms second time in the casino and wanted to head straight for the roulette tables. While I was interested in finding the poker room, I went with him to keep him company. The rest of our party split up temporarily.

My second run-in with the staff at Greek Town was with Wesley. He was working the roulette table we started at. Actually, he was in the process of opening the table we started at and while waiting for the pit boss to clear him to start, we had plenty of opportunity to chit chat about the casino. Wesley was another one of those guys who really loved his job. He explained the game and how the casino worked, gave us advise, gave us directions and made it a pleasure to lose money. I lost $99 in about 20 minutes at the table. I kept a $1 chip for a souvenir.

I was determined not to waste anymore money at the roulette tables so we ventured off to find the p0ker room. We connected up with the Groom's brother and friend. In the half hour or so that we were separated, his brother Justin swooned several ladies, got a VIP card, jumped a line or two, got some drinks and a phone number. He also was fond of the staff. This soon changed.

The poker room was a cluster of people and we avoided it at first pass, but before the night was over, I hung out there to see how it worked and maybe get a table. I watched a table for about 10 minutes and watched a guy lose about $300 on a bad beat. Seeing an opening at a table, I asked one of the workers if I could just sit down. I was then berated and informed that "NO, you may not sit down. All tables are on a list. See the check-in." She then turned her back to me and pretended I wasn't there. This was pretty common in the poker room. They should have a sign posted or something. If the casino wants my money, they should at least be kind enough to tell me how I can give it to them.

I couldn't wait around to get a table. The rest of our party was soundly broke at this time. The Groom was up $300 at the roulette table for a short while but, like me, was down $100 before long. The rest of our party was so broke that part 2 and 3 of our evening was canceled (The good eats and entertainment parts). So we stopped at Burger King to feed the animals and took them home. I took the Groom out to Applebees afterwards to chit-chat and talk about what could of been, and went home happy, but down about $150.

A Series of Unfortunate Events Part 3

2006-03-14T10:42:00.000-05:00

Oh, and the guy emailed me about the car I was interested in originally. I guess it's for sale now.

A Series of Unfortunate Events Part 2

2006-03-14T10:31:00.000-05:00

After a few car ads, I finally found a car that I'd settle on. It's a 1994 Pontiac Grand Am 4-door, White, and a little worse for wear. It's gonna need some cleanup and a little work, namely on the breaks and an oil change, but it will get me to work and back relatively worry free.

So I went to the corner store last night to get a bag of ice for my wife. I took my new ride. It's loud. Every dummy light in the dash is lit up saying, "Please Kill Me", but I thought, hey, at least the windshield isn't all cracked up and laughed to myself (This is known as foreshadowing).

So, its really windy today and the guy who lives next to our work parking lot has a canopy car cover setup. The wind takes it and throws it half way over the fence and the big metal support bar smashes into my windshield leaving a big ol crack. Now my car looks like it sounds and the windshield is now also saying, "Please Kill Me."

A Series of Unfortunate Events

2006-03-07T09:34:00.000-05:00

The Wife and I made a decision some time ago to always own one reliable car. That way, in a worse case scenario, we have a means to continue getting to and from work, doctor appointments, and what not. We own one brand new Saturn Ion for this reason. The other vehicle is a 10 year old mini-van. Let me describe the worse case scenario that has unfolded. A couple of weeks ago, I pulled out of my driveway in my van, put the van into drive and pop, no transmission. I roll down the hill a ways and veer the van over to the curb, hit the emergency brake and let it stay parked. We had decided to wait until our taxes got back to get the transmission fixed so It stayed parked for about a week.

We get our tax refund and schedule to have the van towed to a transmission shop the following morning. The night before, about 10:30 p.m., some clown comes barreling down our road, smashes into the side of our van, crushing the drivers side sliding door and takes off down the road. The wife is so angry she hops into the car and gives chase. She never finds the guy, however. I Call the police and about 2 hours later they finally come to make a report. The officer was nice enough and offered her condolences, but said that chances are, they wouldn't catch the guy who did it.

To add insult to injury, we just dropped the insurance coverage on the van to the minimum required by law. We figured, I only drive the van 5 miles to work. I am a safe driver. Chances are that I wont get into an accident and if some clown hits me negligently, my insurance company can sue them. We didn't foresee this option. I call the insurance company anyways the following day. That lady was also nice and offered her condolences, but anytime you talk to an insurance agent and they quote Murphy's Law, you're in trouble. She did say that should the police find the guy who did it, they will represent me in any claims. I can paraphrase the entire conversation as, "Too Bad, So Sad."

We have a single income family of four. While I don't complain about my pay too much, it doesn't give me any room to go out and buy another new car. For that matter, I really don't have the cash to go out and buy a nice used car, nor the credit rating to do so. While we're on the subject, a middle priced used car with some issues might be a little too much for me right now. I'm basically stuck looking for a junker that might last a year or two. Our search begins. Feel free to donate to our cause. Donation link on the right.

I have been starting every day since the hit and run by looking through Craigslist, an online classified ad service catered to local merchandise and job searches, personals, etc. I actually found a few cars that sounded like winners. Who wouldn't think these cars were great though with the way they word these ads. They always start with, "Runs great, new battery, fresh oil change, non-smoker, perfect interior, etc. "And after seeing them, always end with, "Needs engine or leaky gas tank."

This leads me to a side topic, The used car mentality. When you go into a dealership selling used cars, or when talking to anyone selling a used car, you get the same thing. Their car is gold, your trade in is crap. They will tell you everything that is good in the car like its the only important thing and act matter of factly about any detriments in the car while doing the opposite with any trade in you may have. This is because somewhere down the line, cars have become an item to haggle over. I don't really know why this is so. It's not like I can go into a grocery store and tell the cashier at the register that I only want to pay a quarter for the loaf of bread, and start debating the pros and cons of wonder bread over a hearty rye. What do you think they'll give me on a trade in for the bread I ate last week?

Anyways, the first car I see is an older model Dodge Van. It's one of those full size models. You know the kind you can put in surveillance equipment and go on a stake out in? So I have to drive 30 minutes to go check it out, when I get there, it doesn't even start. Of course the ad doesn't say anything about not starting or the fact that the entire van is going bald (i.e. paint peeling everywhere). Next car I go to look at is an older model Pontiac. Big car. Looks O.K. from the outside. The guy gives me the keys and I go for a test drive. The sign on the window says runs and drives beautifully. The problems are as follows; entire steering column moves about 30 degrees in every direction, the blinker switch won't function because of this, radio was ripped out by force, all four power windows don't work, it wont start without pumping the gas a lot, it rattled, knocked and generally was about to die. It did have new hubcaps though. The one I went to look at last night was nice enough. It wasn't pretty but it started and drove and the radio worked and everything. I test drove it, negotiated the price and was ready to buy. The guy then says he can't sell it till next week when he gets his new car. This is an inconvenience, but doable. I tell him to give me a call when he's ready to sell. He then re-posts it on Craigslist that night. I'm confused.

So we're still looking.

A Poem

2006-03-02T14:17:00.000-05:00

My mind was once a vehicle of knowledge
Firm and Inquiring
Now as life beckons
My mind is no longer required to work so hard
...
So now It doesn't.
SIGH

Monotinous Mind Numbing Work

2006-03-02T14:13:00.000-05:00

Sometimes my job requires me to spend hours looking through thousands upon thousands of records of data. It's monotonous and detrimental to brain activity. Why doesn't someone offer me a job watching TV or doing weather forecasts or something? Anything that doesn't require me to do constant repetition.

I think I'm going to go shoot myself now.

Corporations and Jail Time

2006-02-28T14:55:00.000-05:00

If I went into my neighbor's home and stole his stereo, PlayStation and iPod, I would expect to be in some state of criminal trouble should I be caught, not to mention having to return the merchandise, and pay for court costs and any civil infractions my neighbor feels savvy to file against me. Why is it that Multi-billion dollar companies can rob each other blind and no one goes to jail? Lets look at the Blackberry situation for example.

The Blackberry is a PDA type device that mashes a cellphone, PDA functionality, email, internet, music and more into one single device. Blackberry technology is owned by Research In Motion (RIM)which is currently involved in a patent dispute with NTP Inc. NTP has proved in court that it has patented the technology that RIM has been selling since 1999. Furthermore, the facts in the case prove that RIM knowingly stole the technology from NTP. NTP had been offered a settlement in excess of $400 million, which it declined.

Now lets look at a dumbed down example of what the real world is like. Lets say, I go next door and steal my neighbors car. He finds out I stole it. I flip him off and tell him to get bent. The police shortly arrive and take me away and I go to jail on a felony charge of Grand Theft Auto. In the corporate world, some CEO would steal the same car and instead of being arrested, he's be sued by the car's owner, all the while still cruising around in the car. It would take about 6 years for the lawsuit and several appeals to be finalized and in the end, the CEO would settle out of court for half the value of the car, which he gets to keep. Anyone see a problem here?

There are actually two problems here. Problem One is the lack of Corporate responsibility. A corporation is treated like a legal entity itself. Its the nature of the definition of a corporation. You cant very well put a corporation in jail, but you can sue them. The problem here is that someone had to sign off on this idea, knowing full well that they were robbing another man \ company. Why isn't that man, or committee, accountable? Using our car theft example, this would be like a gang. The Don sends out Guido and Tommy to go steal the car. It's the Don who is ultimately guilty, but rarely takes the fall.

This leads us to Problem Two, Money. If you have enough money, you can buy your way out of trouble. The same thing happened to an aftermarket automotive part manufacturer a few years back. Auto-lite made this formitable Platinum Spark Plug, so their competitor, Champion, bought a few cases of them and sent them to the engineering department to figure out how to make their own version of the Spark Plug. $50 million later, Champion gets to keep making the plug. No one goes to jail. One example against this might be the Enron executives that are seeing jail time. Enron ran out of money though.

This money issue goes into personal criminal and civil cases as well. In my honest opinion, the following people have got out of very incriminating circumstances because of their bankrolls.

O.J. Simpson
Robert Blake
Michael Jackson

This is just a few Celebrities, this doesn't count the politicians and Executives that literally get away with Murder at times. We need to start taking a common sense look at our Corporate world and start making people accountable for their actions.

I Won The Lottery, and Your Fired

2006-02-22T15:40:00.000-05:00

Here's a terrifying thought. I work at a small company. We have three principle workers who generate income for the company, including myself, and two support workers. We crunch Data for multi-million dollar companies and are a small company in our own right. The two other principle workers are both brothers, one is the owner.

Now we are talking about the lottery. A group of 8 people, in an office pool at a meat packing plant, recently won the Powerball. After taxes, each pulled in about $15 Million. Now I gotta think that when all eight of them quit their job, that the owner is probably having some issues replacing them on such a short notice. This topic came up here at work. One of the brothers here, not the owner, plays the lottery often. Every week is gonna be his week according to him. So I tell my boss, "If he wins this thing, we are gonna be screwed." He then replies, "I'm hoping he take me with him." Then I realize, if either of them receive any good fortunes, no matter how unlikely it is, I'm out of a job. Scary.

Subscriptions

2006-02-21T13:00:00.000-05:00

For those of you signed up to be notified when I update my blog and haven't received any notification, I believe the error has been fixed. If you'd like to sign up to be notified when I update my blog, the email sign up box is on the right about half way down the page.

Thanks
Mike

Don't Squeeze The Charmin

2006-02-20T11:05:00.000-05:00

I try to be as serious as possible on this blog by talking about serious topics, or exposing the world to my eccentric prose. However, every once in a while you just have to step back and ask a silly question. Recently, our office manager has changed our brand of Toilet paper. She now buys Charmin. If you haven't used Charmin before, its like the Bathroom equivalent to fluffy kittens and cotton balls. For women, I'm sure this is next to godliness when patting dry the Hoo Hoo parts, but for this man, I need something with some Grip. I mean, if you have to clean the tar hole, would you rather slosh around with silk or scrap that bad boy with sandpaper.

I've said enough. You can now vote at the Current poll to share your feelings on the subject. Poll running on the right.

More Haiku

2006-02-16T09:21:00.000-05:00

Posting words that fill
The time and empty spaces
I lack better words

Selected Poetry

2006-02-12T23:16:00.000-05:00

Drip, drop from the sky
of the sky
from an eye.
Drop, drip to the ground
on the ground
not a sound.
Whimper, whine from a girl
from the girl
with a curl.
Whine, whimper about a man
about the man
she can’t have

P.O.V.

I was hungry for life

so you fed me your seed.

I thirsted for your soul

so you bled it for me.

I felt naked to the world

so I blinded their eyes.

I’m a stranger in you land

take me in, let me die.

I died for a sin

but it was not for you.

Obey, like a dog

you know not what to do.

I’m a brigand and a bandit

never sawed on your wood.

I’m a cutthroat and a sinner

and I did it for you.

But I Know

Troubles come and troubles go

when they come they leave too slow

My soul was gone and I felt dead

Who’s in charge?

How will I live?

Yet I’m walking tall and on my own

with the strength of one and hard as stone

knowing not what to do

knowing not where to go

But I Know.

Little Man

Little man

Stand as tall as you can

There’s no savin’ your soul

There’s no swayin’ your hand

Violence is your nature

Deception is your bread

Juice is in your blood

NO grasp is within your head

Little man

Fall tall, strong blood, bad man

Little man

Stand small, weak soul, dry land

Little man

Eat shit, and die, dead man

Little man

Fall short, no doubt, Little man.

Obsessed

I’ve never been with you.

I can’t stand separation.

You don’t know what it’s like–without you.

I’m ________.

Can’t go two days

without thinking your name.

Can’t go two days

without going insane.

I’ve never been without you.

I can’t stand temptation.

You don’t comprehend--my thoughts of you.

I’m ________.

I want you near me

as close as you can.

I want you in me.

I’m ________.

A Measure Of Success

2006-02-07T07:24:00.000-05:00

What does it mean to be Successful? Strictly defined, success means, "The achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted" [1]. So literally any goal one sets for him\her self, that is achieved, is success. In the real world, however, we have to look at public opinion at times, weather we agree with them or not, to really define what it means to be successful. I'd say that we can all agree that Bill Gates is successful. I mean, he is the richest man in the world, so he must of accomplished some of his goals to get there. Others that fall into this category might include politicians, sports stars, big name actors, and long time business owners, all successful.

Is a modest living considered success? I mean, do we consider any old 9-5 worker to be successful? If their goals were to just make it and have a few possessions, then they fit the definition, but are they really successful? The majority of us don't look down on these people, because the majority of us are these people. I don't consider myself successful in any regard, yet my family is taken care of, the bills are paid, roof over our head and all that. Ask any homeless guy or victim of Hurricane Katrina if I'm successful and they'd probably say yes. Ask some poor unemployed soul from some impoverished nation if I'm successful and they would probably be humbled by the question, because in comparison to them, I'm rich. It seems that there is a little more to the definition of success. There is a comparison of sorts, unrelated to the setting of goals.

So do we measure success against our preconceived notions or against other peoples endeavors? What I mean by this is, do we actually set self goals or do we judge ourselves as successful in comparison to those we wish we were more like? Isn't that the whole thing with role models? When we are young we want to emulate those that we respect and we listen to their guidance and suggestions hoping that one day, we can be just like them, or better. That isn't always realistic. If you want to be just like your Dad, then great, that's probably obtainable, but to say that you want to be like Michael Jordan, well, there is only one Michael Jordan. I see a problem with fostering a successful attitude in children early on. When I was growing up in school, in the 80's and early 90's, there was this push toward higher education, which is wonderful. However growing up in urban cities like Detroit or Pontiac, Michigan, you don't exactly get the best bang for your education dollar.

Which brings me to another point, Schooling and Success or The Propaganda of College vs. Vocational Trades. Because of the push to get kids into higher education, we are actually hurting our kids. To explain, take your average student, and by average I mean "C" average. Regardless of his goals and dreams, assuming he has a focus as such, he's being told that he needs to get a higher education. First off, the kid isn't getting a lower education right now, so he's not even going to have the building blocks to go to college. He might be able to handle a community college, but the drop out rates of community college freshmen are very high. "At highly selective institutions, the vast majority of students graduate. But at public universities, which educate most U.S. students getting bachelor's degrees, nearly 60% fail to complete degrees within five years...and half of those leave during the first year. The dropout rate is even higher at many community colleges, where students are juggling jobs with their course work"[2]. So what does this kid do? He is out of school, has no immediate future in college and has no marketable skills. We need a push toward vocational education in public schools, and I'm not just talking about Auto or Shop classes, although those are fine professions. I'm talking about specialized training in smaller areas where these kids can get the ground work to having a usable life skill. Some schools are treating computer skills as vocational training, computer repair, diagnostics, etc, and jobs can be found using these skills with far less time and money than in the traditional higher education system. Furthermore, I'm not just talking about "C" average kids either, although they would benefit most from this, this is something that should be instituted across the board. This lack in vocational training is why we have adults today that don't know how to change a tire on a car.

Now I've been out of public schools now for 13 years, so I don't know how far they've come in this regard, but I can almost guarantee, that wherever the averages are, I'm sure the inner city numbers are lower. There is this unspoken similarity in minorities and poverty. That's not to say that all blacks and Hispanics are these kids that have no hope for higher education opportunities, just that there is this overlap of the two that have similarities. What I'm getting at is that something drastic needs to be done, especially for minorities. Even those who get education at the college level still don't have necessary life skills and fall apart under the pressures of life. I believe a push toward more vocational skills, specialized skills in children, can benefit everyone in the end and fill a void in the preparation process for becoming independent.

Now I could go on for days on my ideas on how to change our education system, but my topic is success. The definition for success is fine. We set goals, attain them and we are successful. This definition needs an asterisk however, one that defines the Method to be Successful. That asterisk should read as followed:

It is our duty as human beings to teach our children to set reasonable goals, goals that make them better than they are today, which are attainable and reasonable. It is our duty as human beings to grant our children the tools to fulfill these goals and to steer them in the direction to fulfill them. It is our duty as human beings to better ourselves in the process.

Could You Donate Your Face?

2006-02-06T15:36:00.000-05:00

Anderson Cooper, from CNN, asked on his Blog, "Would you be willing to donate your face when you die?" This question arises in regard to the French woman, Isabelle Dinoire, who was the first recipient of a partial human face transplant. Isabelle was victimized by her pet dog and left mutilated with exposed bone on the vast majority of her face. Although she has the face of another person, Isabelle looks neither like the donor or her original self. In regard to the question, I'd make a guess that a majority of people could not donate their face, even those who would not hesitate to donate their internal organs. Two reasons why.

Foremost, we treasure our uniqueness in the world. While we generally have no qualms about our inner organs, our everyday appearances are special to us. Things like our eyes, face, or even our genitals are something that make us who are we are, and there is something a little unsettling when we think that those parts could be on or used by another human being. Its a selfish thought, but one a majority of us probably cant shake.

The second reason is one that I worry about most and that is the reaction of our surviving loved ones. I remember when I was just a kid, we received news that my Uncle Ernie was killed in a car accident. He was completely rolled over by a steel truck. He had a closed casket funeral for obvious reasons and as a child, It never seemed real. I never saw his body. I always thought that he would just show up at the next family function and he was just my Uncle. Imagine what his kids went through. They were devastated because their dad was taken from them and they never got the last goodbye. It's that "Last Goodbye" that people will have trouble with. Funeral services are for the living to give their last respects, not for the dead, but to come together and respect what life is. To take some of that away with a closed casket will be too much for some people.

That's not to say that these procedures wont happen, because they will. Cases like these are rare, so the lower number of donating parties probably wont impact the need to supply ratio. In the future, as technology permits, we are going to be dealing with more issues like these. Some are going to be personal issues, but as cloning and gene therapies get more commonplace, ethical theory will be brought to the forefront as well. Hopefully we will all see the greater good and swallow our pride, when we have to.

Anonymity Makes Us Ignorant

2006-02-03T08:46:00.000-05:00

With all the great things the Internet provides us, from services to entertainment, you also see things in people that you usually only see when they are stone cold drunk, ignorance. It's been talked about before, people lose all control of their animal instincts and hurt others as quickly and as often as they can, because, on the Internet, you aren't as accountable. You can say things on a message board, like you hate black people, the Holocaust never happened or that some other guy's wife is a fat pig, things that would get your nose bloodied in some company. Safe behind your computer screen, no one can hurt you so your fingers type what your mouth could never safely say.

This isn't always a bad thing. Anonymity can also allow us to say things that people need to hear without the backlash that sometimes goes with these things. For instance, protesting the tyranny of the Chinese governments lock-down on intelligent freedoms in China or signing a petition to support a cause you might not otherwise support in public.

Rudeness in general comes from anonymity, and this one really irritates me. When trying to do business with people, especially on a message board or through Craigslist, I might reply to questions about a product I'm trying to sell, like price, location, or cost to ship and I answer them as quickly and nicely as possible. They never reply. They never say weather they want the item or not. Not even a "Go To Hell". They just never reply. It's Irritating.

I'm currently trying to sell a PlayStation 2, 10 games and accessories and have had many people ask me about it and with each reply of mine, I get cool silence. If they don't like the price, we can negotiate. Don't want to pick it up, I can meet you somewhere. They never find this out because they believe I will act like they do, with rudeness and general uncooperativeness. I'm willing to bend. People on the internet, generally just don't get it.

State of The Union

2006-02-01T09:37:00.000-05:00

Regardless of the agenda that Bush has and the fact that he didn't say how he can do it, especially on how he going to pay for it, was anyone else put off a little when he compared our troops mission in Iraq to President Lincoln's freeing of the slaves, Defeating Nazi Germany in Europe during WWII, and Martin Luther Kings March for civil rights? I mean, isn't he reaching a bit there or does he really see it as just that important.

The governor of Virginia's response had a better feel to it, but he too lacked info on how he was going to accomplish these things. Maybe he's just a better speaker. There was a whole lot of talk, but not any clear method on how we are going to accomplish any of it.

Politics as per usual.

Spoke too soon...

2006-01-31T14:32:00.000-05:00

In my original blight on the city of Detroit during my Super Bowl rant, I may have spoke too soon. It seems that early Media reviews of the city are positive, and I hope they stay that way contrary to my opinions and experiences with the city.

My original Rant

CNN article

Coretta Scott King (April 27, 1927 – January 30, 2006)

2006-01-31T10:29:00.000-05:00

Rest in Peace Mrs. King

Haiku

2006-01-31T07:35:00.000-05:00

Late Winter Sunshine
Bitter Sweet and Bitter Cold
Springtime Has to Wait.

Ladies and Gentlemen, The President of the United States

2006-01-30T11:00:00.000-05:00

I'd be hard pressed to say any nominee for President presented to us by our great two party system has impressed me too much in the last few elections. The very nature of politics is a publicity contest where the coolest kid in school gets all the votes and policy is made after the smoke clears. All the promises before then are just pipe dreams. I'd wager that the American people are thinking pretty hard about their vote for the upcoming 2008 Presidential race. Even though we have no real candidates presented to us yet, we need to think about what we want in the Leader of the Free World.

My qualifications are fairly small. I'm not worried about what they do in their private office with the interns or who their big oil big wig friends are. If you can meet my list of priorities, you would be the greatest president in the last 50 years.

My number one request is for a president who will start the process of a complete financial overhaul of our government's operations. We need some spending leaks mended and reams of red tape burned away. If we can start healing the backbone of our broken financial system, I believe many of the other problems will heal themselves.

A few areas in particular that need attention:

Broken Tax Code (Why does it have to be such a complicated money pit of a system?)
Governmental Red Tape in Procedures. (Why do I have to fill this out in Triplicate, on a Wednesday, after lunch, when their is an overcast weather report, on a night of a full moon, while eating a Twix bar?)
Wasteful Government Programs (Why do we need a $2 billion study on the mating habits of the carpenter ant?)
Restructuring of Welfare \ Aid \ Financial Aid (Vital Programs where the money isn't always reaching the hands that need it.)
FEMA and Other Disaster Related and Charitable Expenses. (It's nice to look out for those who need help, but lets do it as fiscally responsible as possible.)
Wasteful Spending on Foreign Nations That Have No Return Benefit To the U.S. (Why do we send money to nations that kill their own citizens or third world countries with no usable marketing or industrial benefit to the United States when our own deficit is climbing at a ridiculous speed as of late.)

You do this and I can just about guarantee that few Americans will question your Presidency, interns or otherwise.

Justification for Terror

2006-01-28T09:19:00.000-05:00

(Note: This was a paper written for my Ethics class in '02, it is written in an argumentative form where both sides of the argument are discussed.)

Terror. The word itself defines what it is and what it creates. Fear, pain, oppression, all examples of concepts that go hand in hand with terror and terrorism. The American Heritage Dictionary defines terrorism as, “The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence by a person or an organized group against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing societies or governments, often for ideological or political reasons” (Par 1). After the attacks on Sept. 11, 2001, public opinion would easily say that terrorism is the very definition of evil and immorality. However, terrorism can also be seen as a tool for oppressed individuals or groups to make change in a world they wouldn’t normally be able to impact. Thus, terrorism is a morally justifiable course of action in times and situations of extreme physical, emotional, and\or political oppression.

To justify terrorism, even in extreme cases, one would take a Utilitarianist stance on the topic. Utilitarianism is defined as being morally obligated, at all times, to perform that action which most likely will lead to the best consequences. Or moreover, the ends will justify the means. Terrorists believe that their backs are against the wall. Most come from small impoverished nations with little to no clout or effect on the world or world events. Furthermore, they are oppressed by western ideals and restrictions, whether it be American military bases in their backyard or NATO \ U.N. imposed governments. For instance, The United States Army Forces Central Command Saudi Arabia has had men deployed and bases set up in Kuwait since the Gulf War over 10 years ago. The people of these countries have no voice in these matters, like a child to a parent. Like that child \ parent relationship, the child will scream to get the attention and change it desires. The only choice they have is the scream of terror. The world gives its attention and change will occur, if only in time.

The direct opposition to this Utilitarian argument would be the traditional philosophical opposition of Formalism. Formalism states that there are certain actions that are immoral in and of themselves. Examples of these actions might be: Murder; Torture; Kidnaping; Thievery; Lying; etc. etc. To understand Formalism, one should just look to the Ten Commandments in the Bible. These are examples of actions that might be concidered inherently wrong, and actions like these are the very tools of terrorism, each one a moral violation according to the Formalist viewpoint. In fact, the idea of terrorism itself might be a violation of a moral Formalist rule, even if you disregard the actions that go with it. Killing is just wrong. Kidnaping is just wrong. Torture is just wrong. Terrorism is just wrong.

Granted that actions like killing, kidnaping, and torture are vile happenings and are usually far from desirable and moral, one could also say that vile actions like these can sometimes be justifiable. If being attacked by someone with a knife, a person with full intentions on ending your life, you don’t fight back, your dead. Imagine you have an opportunity to slice this persons throat with his own knife during the fight. If you believe killing is bad, period, you won’t do it, and your life may be the price for that decision. If you bury that knife deep, you end up alive and well, however. In this extreme case, the ends justify the means and in extreme cases like these, terrorism can be justified as well.

Terrorism has been justified in the past and it was our founding fathers who did it. During the Revolutionary War, the people who fought for our independence did so in a terrible way at times. Guerilla tactics, the slaughter of British families, the destruction of British property, all to send a message to the people of Britain, “Go away, we don’t want you here.” This is the same message used by middle eastern terrorists, by the IRA nationals, and many other oppressed groups. The difference is, when we did it, it was heroic.

Opposing this, it could be said that just because something occurred in the past, doesn’t mean it was morally justified. Moreover, it could be argued that many nations and people, including people living in the states at the time of the Revolutionary War, declared these acts as abominable regardless on how it all turned out in the end. The acts are still wrong today, just as they were then. Wrong is wrong.

In response, it could be argued that only the best of consequences occurred from the events of the Revolutionary War and it is these consequences that outweigh the means of accomplishing them. George Washington was a national hero, not an evil man, but when your back is against the wall, even the best of men resort to the worst of actions, and in this case, it was justifiable.

When looking to the past, one can grow a keen eye for similarities to current events. This can help in understanding these events and how they relate to events of today. Lets look at two examples from American History. Slavery was legal in the United States until the end of the Civil War in 1864. Our great nation, a nation of freedom, allowed human beings to be kept as slaves for almost 100 years, and slavery was in North America long before we even became a nation. Generations of black men and women were kept oppressed, kept ignorant, and kept obedient through measures of terror. Violence, threats, torture, these were common tools of many white slave masters. The very definition of terrorism. Now lets look at a specific event. In August of 1831, a slave by the name of Nat Turner led a group of about 40 black slaves on a killing spree. Over 50 white men, women and children were killed that day, shot, stabbed, or clubbed to death. Terror ensued. Soon, slave masters everywhere had the smell of fear in them, fear that the blacks would revolt again to change the way things were, terrorism defined again (Nat Turner, par 6). At the time of the rebellion, slavery was considered legal and moral to boot. At the time of the rebellion, Nat turner, his posse, and many other slaves considered the slaughter morally justified. If these two positions are justified on some level, both terroristic ideals, and opposed, then someone has to be wrong. That also means that in this extreme case, someone has to be right, which logically justifies the use of terrorism at that time, regardless of what side you take.

In contrast, it could be argued that neither side was truly justified in their actions. They were both wrong. Slavery, if nothing else, is evil in itself, the terroristic activities used, even more so. Nat Turner, too, was evil in his ways. Murder is never justifiable, especially innocent women and children. Two wrongs don’t make a right.

Few would argue that two wrongs make a right, and slavery is wrong, but some might take the logic another step and argue that fighting for freedom is far more important. Freedom and liberty are the foundation of the human spirit and when everything is at stake, many would fight to the death to obtain it or fight to the death to defend it. It could be argued that Nat Turner and his men had nothing to lose and only freedom to gain. If that isn’t moral, not much is.

Finally, in arguing the fact that there are cases, extreme as they may be, where terrorism can be justified, I would argue against the opposition to further strengthen this idea. The opposition would say that terrorism could never be morally justified, ever. The opposition would just say that it is inherently wrong in itself. This , I would say, is an impossibility. Never is defined as never in the past, never today, and never in the future. Never means, not one exception. I would say that would be hard to swallow. Several cases of justifiable terrorism have already been mentioned from Americas past, and no one can tell us what the future holds. Even if you discount every example previously stated, using the word never is a bold statement when looking to the future and would logically not hold water in the test of time.

Never is not such a bold expression when looked at from a Formalist viewpoint. Many would agree that Murder is never justifiable. Lying is never appropriate. Rape is never moral. It’s not such a stretch to say that terrorism is never justified.

In reply to this viewpoint though, one could once again look to those extreme cases where your life is on the line, even killing another human being can be seen ok, certainly lying to save a life can be justified. When looking to the future, one cannot know what extreme circumstances will occur. There is even an expression for it, “Never say never.”

Arguments aside, there is one major opposition to the position I take in this paper which needs to be addressed. Terrorism just doesn’t work. When Al-Qaeda terrorists hijacked the jets on Sept. 11th of 2001 and crashed them into the World Trade Center towers, into the Pentagon, and the attempted last target, they failed their mission in the end. The people of the United States strengthened in ways we haven’t seen since WWII. The United States declared war in Afghanistan, basically destroying the foundations of the Al-Qaeda organization. In fact, by bombing, and attacking the U.S., they have only caused us as a nation to seek out and destroy terrorists and their supporters, effectively making it harder for terrorists to stay in business. Terrorism never works so its absurd to even consider.

The American Heritage Dictionary defines success as “the achievement of something desired, planned, or attempted” (par1). It’s impossible to know the long term goals of Bin Laden, what exactly he had planned, or what he still has planned, but at least on one level, the Al-Qaeda did succeed. Terror sprang in the hearts of every American around the globe on Sept 11, 2001. To this day, many Americans are afraid to fly. Many are worried about when terror will strike next. But moreover, the Al-Qaeda have succeeded in drawing attention to their cause. Before 9-11, many Americans didn’t know the name of Osama Bin-Laden, fewer still knew of the Al-Qaeda and their mission. Now both are a household name. Video tapes of Osama’s views and opinions have gained worldwide air play. Many Americans want a drastic change in foreign policy, wanting to just leave everyone to themselves and get the U.S. out of other’s business. Call it ignorance. Call it fear. Regardless of what you call it, it’s the desired effect the terrorists wanted. It worked. When you look to the future, after Bush is done chasing terrorists, things will settle down and it will renew again. It’s a cycle that will not end till either all terrorists are dead or they get what they want. Terrorism works, at least in the short term. It’s still too soon to tell the long term impacts.

I find it necessary to say that the attacks on the United States on Set. 11, 2001 were a tragedy of epic proportions. Innocent people died for a cause most don’t know of, understand, or for that matter even care about. I certainly don’t get it. I would also agree that these specific acts of terrorism were evil and immoral and it goes without saying that I am distancing myself from this behavior on a personal level. With that said, it could be argued that these are examples of those extreme cases of torment, oppression, physical or emotional pain, discussed in this paper, where acts of terrorism could lead to change and in doing so could be morally justified. I believe that change is the key. Never could you justify evil except when it leads to a change for the better. Even then, you’d have a hard case to prove.

Works Cited
“The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language.” (2000): n. pag. Online. Internet. 25 Oct. 2002. Available: http://www.dictionary.com/search?q=terrorism.

“Nat Turner’s Rebellion.” 3p. Online. Internet. 25 Oct. 2002. Available: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/aia/part3/3p1518.html.

Welcome

2006-01-26T16:40:00.000-05:00

I'd like to welcome any visitors who found my site via mixeye.com. I hope you enjoy your stay.

The Absurdity in Intelligent Design

2006-01-24T09:43:00.000-05:00

There is a small movement garnering attention in many parts of the country. It seems several regionally conservative school districts across the U.S. are introducing a new scientific principle into their curriculum called Intelligent Design. For those not following this trend, Intelligent Design is defined as the concept that "certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as natural selection."[Link] Leading proponents, of whom all are affiliated with the Discovery Institute, say that intelligent design is a scientific theory that stands on equal footing with, or is superior to, current scientific theories regarding the origin of life.[Link] Simply defined; our universe is so complicated that it can only be explained that a being, not of earth, created the seeds of life that became civilization as we know it. Some call him God. The problem in teaching about a "Creator" in public schools has several issues.

Problem One is that there are general rules separating church and state. "In the United States, separation of church and state is governed by the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution and by legal precedents, some quite controversial, interpreting that clause...Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion."[Link] So, In a public school setting, one established by our government, you cannot add elements of religion. Proponents of Intelligent Design rebut this argument, stating that they are not fostering a religious point of view but a scientific theory, not unlike the Theory of Evolution, coined by Darwin, which is taught in public schools today.

This leads us to Problem Two, the flawed logic of Intelligent Design as a science. One opposing point to the Science argument of Intelligent Design is that it makes claims as fact by pointing out that science cannot prove it otherwise. For instance, scientists can only theorize about the complexities of the human body and these theories revolve around evolution and general hypothesizing, much cannot be proven exactly but follows true from scientific analysis. These are facts that may often be proven true as technology increases so that these theories can be tested further. Maybe one of these theories will be accepted as true, like Einstein's theory on relativity and the Origin of the Species. Intelligent Design proponents would argue that because we cannot prove these things, then they must of been created by something much greater than us. They corroborate this argument through the creation of the cosmos as well. So instead of using a scientific method, they use the argument that it couldn't of been anything else.

This brings us to Problem Three, the fallacy on the generality of Intelligent Design. If we assume that Intelligent Design is a valid option, we believe that some thing or several things, greater than us, not of Earth, placed in motion a series of events that created the universe and civilization as we know it today. Christians would name this being God, but the Christian God is far more defined. The generality of Intelligent Design allows room for us to believe in the absurd as well. Bobby Henderson made this exact connection in his OPEN LETTER TO KANSAS SCHOOL BOARD last year. He commended the school board on their openness to discussion on Intelligent Design but he wished for all aspects of it to be discussed including the Pastafarian faith in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Henderson believes that instead of this unknown being, it was a giant spaghetti monster whose noodly appendage created all that we see in the universe. Strangely, his Church beliefs fall into the realm of Intelligent Design, thus destroying its credibility on its own absurdity.

I am not against the Intelligent Design argument. To be honest, when you look at the Universe, it's hard not to believe that something had a hand in it, but as they cannot prove that the universe was created by design, so can we not prove it wasn't. However, to allow Intelligent Design taught as a science, is as absurd as the Flying Spaghetti Monster. This is a philosophical argument on God, also called the Teleological Argument. As important as Philosophy is, it is not science. It is a logical process in which we question and question again. You examine and try to foster understanding through these questions, but to teach it as fact is absurd. Philosophical topics are never proven or disproven, only questioned anew.

The First and Last Superbowl in Detroit

2006-01-23T15:08:00.000-05:00

While the Game itself promises to be excellent, to be honest, I'm surprised that the NFL agreed to hold a Superbowl in Detroit altogether. Detroit has a fast talking Mayor and I'm sure the committee from Detroit really sold it. They were blinded by the supposed advancement in the downtown area, but rest assured, the media will be all over Detroit in the next couple weeks.

Just a couple blocks away from Ford Field and you will notice slums and burnt down buildings as well as condemned structures and other eye sores. The cold weather, issues with parking and hotel availability will all be gripes in the media. The three downtown casinos promised to have permanent hotels\casinos in place by now instead of the temporary casinos they are still using. Partly because they are lazy (or greedy) and party due to our Governor raising Casino's taxes, these Hotel resorts were never completed.

And what is there to do in Detroit? It's not like this time of year allows for boating and fishing in the Great lakes. Did I mention it was cold? Yay for the Superbowl but shame on the City of Detroit for not following through on it's promise to the NFL. Detroit will never have an opportunity like this again.

This is also mentioned on the Sports Illustrated website as a point of media attention in the coming weeks

Company Policy

2006-01-21T10:36:00.000-05:00

The mans slow walk down the center aisle of the store gave him the opportunity to glance at all the new seasonal merchandise the drug store was peddling. His objective, of course, was not to stand gawking at the useless crap, as others always seem to do. His business was just up ahead with the cashier at the photo development counter.
“Welcome to Arvco, How can I help you on this very fine morning,” the clerk’s overwhelming enthusiasm was a little overbearing and somewhat annoying.
The man simply said, “I got film to drop off.”
The clerk’s reply seemed scripted. In fact the clerk himself seems scripted for whatever that means. “Would you like our thirty minute development service or shall I ‘port it to our lab for next day service?”
“What’s the price difference”, he asked?
“Well...” the clerk, with the name tag proclaiming him to be some sort of technical coordinator, named Rod, took a deep breath. “...If we send your film to the lab, it’s gonna cost you approximately $39.95, where...”
“$39.95?” the customer interrupted.
“Yes sir, $$39.95,” he replied.
“Go on.”
The clerk continued, “If you ‘port your film to the lab, you are entitled to double prints or you can get a single set of prints with a free cube of film for the same price.”
“Now that free film, it’s not that Arvco crap is it?” retorts the customer.
“Sir, I’ll have you know that Arvco film is manufactures by 5M, the same great people who created hover soap, particle scrap, and Irish adhesive strips. Also, as proven in international tests, Arvco film received the same high quality awards as the top selling Krodak products. So, because of this high quality recognition that Arvco film has acquired, you’ll be receiving a free cube of Fiji film.”
“Figures,” another retort.
The clerk continued, “or you can get the thirty minute service, which for single prints only costs you $49.95. However you don’t receive the free cube of film.”
“...”

“And if you choose double prints, it will only cost you an additional $15.00 over our single prints price,” finished the clerk.
The customer wipes his hand through his hair and says, “let me get this straight. I have to pay and additional $25.00 to have doubles done today.”
“Yes.”
“Send them out.”
“Yes Sir, I’ll just need some general information about yourself.”
“...”
“Can I get your vox number?”
“Why in God’s name do you need my vox number, I just want to drop off film.”
The clerk put on a stern but friendly face and said, Sir, we need the information for two very important reasons. First, we want to make sure your film doesn’t get lost or inadvertently disintegrated. Second, we have to be able to contact you should a problem occur with your film. Your vox number please?”
“Jesus Christ, 872-923-21721.”
“Your last name sir?”
“MacMire.”
“First?”
“Gerald.”
“Your locale number and index code?”
“4893173 Gracken index, Boxel 2.”
“Paper vox code?”
“72534.”
“Married?”
“Now why in the Hell does it matter if I’m married?”
The clerk stopped the typing on the computer to turn and stare at the customer. He then says, “Mr. MacMire, as I stated before, this is merely a organizational method, a safety precaution if you will, as well as Arvco policy. Now, this won’t take very much more of your time.”
“...”

“Married?”
“NO!”
“Any kids?”
“NO!”
“Are you just coming from work?”
“WHAT?”
“You just get off work? I’m just curious. I’m not typing that in or anything. Just curious, you know, small talk.”
“Oh. No, I had the day off.”
“How often do you take pictures Sir?”
“About twice a month.”
“Then where do you normally take them for processing?”
“Rite Grants. Why?”
“As I stated before, this is a ...”
“Never mind!”
The clerk pressed a few buttons then asked, “singles or doubles?”
“Doubles.”
“Matte, glossy, holo, or digital finish?”
“Holo.”
“Would you like to purchase a guarantee service agreement?”
“And what is that?”
“By purchasing a guaranteed service agreement, you are being guaranteed that your cube of film will not become lost, mutilated, or destroyed, through a fault of the drugstores or the lab, you’ll be reimburse for its lost with a credit voucher that can be used in any Arvco drugstore.”
“No, no, just send it out.” The clerk taps a few more keys that placed the cube inside a tamper proof photo envelope and places the envelope into the trash disintegrator and goes for the switch.
“Hey, wait, what are you doing?”

“Sir, your film has been slated to be lost.”
“WHAT!”
“Your film has been slated...”
“No, I heard you, but what are you talking about?”
“Let me try to explain.” The clerk eased his hands away from the keyboard, smiled, and began, “Arvco drugs has an extensive customer service policy and we are dedicated to every word of that policy. Some two years ago, there was a law suit filed against Arvco by a photo customer in regard to a bag of film that was lost by out lab. Because of that law suit, great studies were made and polls were taken to find out how people felt about customer service and photo service in particular. The studies have shown that one in every 637 bags of film becomes lost, mutilated, or destroyed. Through the polls we’ve taken, Arvco has become enlightened to the fact that most customers want a reliable and consistent environment in which to do business with. So, taking both of those into account, Arvco has made a promise of “NO MORE, NO LESS” to all of our customers. Arvco knows that no one is perfect and accidents happen. There isn’t much Arvco could do to change that. Arvco can, however, control the consistency. As a result, we make sure we keep the average. Incidently, your film was number 637. The computer has slated it to be lost.” The customer stood dumbfounded just blinking at the clerk. “Understand now,” the clerk finished.
“Just give me my film back.”
“I can’t do that sir.”
“AND WHY THE HELL NOT,” screamed the customer?
“Because you didn’t purchase the guaranteed service agreement, which by the way was another result of the law suit with THAT disgruntled photo customer.”
“Are you implying something clerk boy.”
“No sir, I was just trying to ...”
“Let me talk to a manager.” The customer just stood there with a grim look on his mug while the clerk called a manager over the intercom. The clerk maintained that irritating smile the whole time. After a few moments a young lady in her mid twenties walked up to the customer.
“Hi, my name is Katherine, how may I help you,” she said.
“This idiot of a photo clerk of yours is gonna burn up my film.” the customer explains.
“Sir, Arvco has an extensive customer service policy that states ...”
“I just heard it all from Numb nuts” he interrupted. The clerk stood silently behind the counter.
“Then you can understand the sensitivity of the situation,” she stated with a slight attitude.
“Look, whatever happened to the customer always being right, eh.”
“Oh that policy was abolished in the early teens,” she replied.
“That was meant to be rhetorical. I just want my film back,” he pleaded.
“Sir, if I may be so blunt, shut up.”
“What?”
“I said SHUT UP,” she reiterated. “I hear it from customers like you every hour of every day. And frankly I’m sick of it. You people always want something for nothing, something for free. Just yesterday, this old lady comes into the pharmacy bitchin’ and moanin’ about her cocain prescription. She says we forgot to include the mirror and razor blades. She claims that every time she renews her prescription they give her free blades and a mirror. I’ll have you know that Arvco stopped giving out mirrors and razor blades years ago. It got too expensive and the insurance companies stopped paying for ‘em. I tried to tell her about Arvco’s policy on the topic, but NO, she just...”
“Ma’am.”
“DON’T INTERRUPT ME!”
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Anyway she just interrupts me with her complaining, and I really hate that.”
“Did you give her the stuff?” he asked.
“Hell no, I made the old bag pay for them, and then I kicked her out.”
“But I don’t want anything for free. I just want my film back.”

“Look, we all got problems. Look at me, I’m an assistant manager at an Arvco drugstore. How do you think I feel? I mean, if Arvco paid anything, it might be okay, but I’m barely getting by. Do you think I could get a set schedule? Hell no, not with my boss. He’d keep me from ever leaving if he could. Without a set schedule, I’ll never get back into school, I’ll never get a real job, and I’ll probably be working here for the rest of my life, which won’t be long at this rate. Christ, I work so many damn hours. I can’t even get a boyfriend. God only knows the last time I…”
“Really?”
“I said don’t interrupt me.”
“Sorry.”
“Anyway, we all got problems, Arvco just seems to be one of them for both of us.”
Pleading, the customer says, “Can I please have my film back?”
“ Okay, okay, you can have your film back. You just have to fill out and purchase a guaranteed service agreement.” Relieved, he nodded and she went about her business. His attention was faltered for a moment, and then he returned to the photo counter.
“Look Rod,” the customer said to the photo clerk. “Your boss said I can get my film back if I purchase your service thingee.”
“Guaranteed service agreement?”
“Yes,” angrily said.
“Then I’ll need some information.”
“Why can’t you take it from the stuff I gave you before?” said even more angrily.
“Our system connector unit is down and we have to manually enter the data.”
The man stood motionless.
“Your vox number sir?”
“872-923-21721, my name is Gerald MacMire. I live at 4893173 Gracken index, Boxel 2. My paper vox code is 72534. No wife, No kids.”
“Sir, I just needed your name.”
Once again he stood motionless.
The clerk pressed a few buttons on his computer keyboard and said, “that will be $39.95.”

“That’s how much it costs to get them developed in the first place,” screamed the customer. “ I can’t believe what you morons are trying to pull here. First you’re gonna blow up my film then your gonna charge me not to blow them up.”
“Arvco policy states that...”
“To hell with Arvco policy. Arvco policy makers can kiss my behind.”
“Sir, there’s no reason to get excited.”
“Listen photo boy, there’s nothing exciting about listening to you talk. There’s nothing exciting about this photo counter. And there’s nothing exciting about Arvco. In fact, the only exciting thing I’ve seen today is your assistant manager, and she’s a stuck up .... Look, here’s your money. Just give me my film back. I’m going to Rite Grants.”
“Sir, if I may, Rite Grants slates every 621st cube of film to be lost.” The customer grabbed his film and stormed out of the store.
“Have a nice day sir.” Soon after the customer left, Katherine returned to the photo counter. “I tried making small talk with him to keep him calm,” he said when she reached the counter.
“I know Rodney. I tried relating my own troubles with his. Most people just don’t listen,” Katherine replied. “Next time, try not to let the customer see you dump their film in the disintegrator. It’ll save us some trouble.”
“You’re the boss.” The clerk once again smiled. He looked to the next customer in line and said, “Welcome to Arvco. How can I help you on this very fine afternoon.”

Why The Trees Cry

2006-01-20T07:44:00.000-05:00

In the Spring, the greatest of trees and the youngest as well, sprout green and thank what God they have that they survived one more year of Winter. Some trees grow tall and proud, others short and round. Some have leaves of green others have cones, but all bask in the nourishing springtime sun. Times are good.

Woe to be a tree, however, as every spring they offer unto the world, their seeds of life, tens of thousands of seeds wishing for life. This is what makes the trees sad. Just as they are glorious to send their children into the world, so are they mortified that most shall die. The trees toss their young to the wind, hoping that they are fortunate enough to survive the hardships of the modern world, hoping that they find greener pastures in which to start life.

They smile and then they cry. They smile at the strength of these young sprouts of life yet cry as they know what hardships shall befall them. The Great Oak watches tall. The maple smiles a sweet smile. The weeping willow.....she always cries. They stand back and watch as the world has its cruel hands withering their young, powerless to help, yet ever watchful, and suffering. Many die right off, never taking a handhold on life, never tasting all that life can offer. Some take life and begin to grow only to be destroyed by our modern world in the name of advancement and industry. Some are eaten as food by the animals that inhabit our world. Some live. The few take life and in turn will one day grow old and wise enough to make life and to shed those same tears of their father’s, tears of their own.

These trees are all the people of the world, the mothers and fathers. The trees are the nations of the world. Some are like the Great Oak, and some are like the Willow. In times like these, we send our seeds out into the world in order to take a handhold on what life should be like, what freedom really means. Many nations are trees, just happy to see another spring. Many are like the willow and cry all the time, constantly wounded by the harshness of life. Some are tall and proud, some...are sticky. But in this world, we are all trees and we send our seeds out to fight in this world. Many die right off, some take life and are destroyed. Some are eaten by the animals of the world, and the few will grow to see what life really is. And they will cry.

Ravings of the Eccentric

2006-01-18T23:42:00.000-05:00

Let there be a call to arms. Be at alarm and be forewarned, for there is an evil of an unbeknownst proportion before us. Let us not be deceived on the grounds of it’s seemingly widespread presence, because commonality means not acceptance. And be not fooled for there are detailed accounts that lend verisimilitude to the story I tell. Though saying that, as I have said, my plight is far from over, far from won. Mine own enemy has all but infiltrated every home and place of eat. It surrounds me at every look. It balks me at every turn. And what is it that places shadows on my soul? What is it that tarnishes my very existence? What is it that so corrupts my past that I have eaten from it’s very evil? What is this forbidden fruit of which I preach? It is the pickle I say. The pickle is the food of the devil. The pickle is evil in the raw form of the word.

I beseech you all to not only throw away that evilist of consumables, but to be rid of its temptation forever. I beg you to listen, for your very soul may be at stake in this war against evil. Go to your iceboxes. Go to your refrigerators. Obtain the evil pickles from their place of rest, but be mindful not to even palpate the vessel in which the evil resides else you’ll be turned away from the good and be tempted to partake of the serpents fruit. You would be advised to use tongs. Once the evil is in your possession, you must say prayers to the all mighty and beg for forgiveness as I have done, for the next step in exorcizing yourself of this evil is contemptuous in itself. You must place the vessel of wanton evil desires into a box. You must then seal the package and deliver it away.

But to who? Who has the strength of will to fight that which is the devil’s own. Who can face the sheer terror of the most vile of the vile? In who can we trust with our inner thoughts and our deepest passions? Who will stand by us in our time of need. No priest or pastor has the strength. No reverend or monk is so attuned to good. No good sister or holy father can overcome its evil. When the pickle is within your grasp, send it to Grandma. It is Grandma and Grandma alone who shall defend our world from the forces compiling against us in the form of the devil’s fruit.

When I grow up...

2006-01-17T16:04:00.000-05:00

As a child in elementary school, I always wanted to be an Astronaut, then the Challenger exploded in 1986 when I was in 5th grade. That was the same year that Hailey's Comet came by the earth on it's 76 year trip around the sun. I most likely wont be alive to see it when it comes around again, but these events certainly effected my outlook in life. Regardless of whether or not I'd ever see the stars in person, my eyes were always looking to the sky and I dreamed of space through motion picture filters. I dreamed of traveling to far off worlds, five year missions, seeking out life, boldly going, etc etc. One of my first writing assignments in 6th grade was to write a short story or poem. At the time, I thought poetry was stupid girl stuff and went for the sci-fi epic. Twelve pages later, I turned in my first masterpiece. Did I mention that I failed that assignment...miserably?

As I grew older, I realized that I had a knack for school. I absorbed everything like a sea sponge. I won contests in writing, math and geography, received an honorable mention in the science fair, and kept straight A's for the most part through school. My only fault was spelling, which I am thankful technology fixed with the all-mighty spell checker. It was then, that I first had the idea to become a teacher. I didn't have any specific ideas about what I would teach though. I originally thought mathematics would be my strong point but Calc III changes that idea quickly. In high school, all of my friends were going into Engineering programs in college, and this was before the boom of computers. My computer class in high school was on an Apple IIc. With the guidance of piers and teachers, I also thought engineering was a good idea. Once again, Calc III, the destroyer of many of my plans, rears it's ugly head.

Fast forward a few years (We're gonna pass up all the sad story stuff about a bad childhood, dropping out of college, living in stranger's basements, and committing felonious acts) and here we are. I'm certainly not where I wanted to be, but it's not like my life is over yet. I now have two beautiful daughters to raise and with my wife and I guiding them. They are sure to be everything that I wasn't. My new aspirations revolve around writing. Maybe something will come of it. Maybe I'll write that Sci-Fi epic. Maybe not. We'll find out when I grow up.

Don't Waste a Day. Learn Something.

2006-01-17T09:38:00.000-05:00

I can't stress enough how important it is to constantly educate yourself. I know many people get into a job and a way of life and never advance their self intellectually. I was there. So I'm trying to combat that with the little self-helps on the internet.

I highly recommend everyone should sign up for A Word A Day. Every day you are emailed a new word, its definition, history and how to use it in a sentence. Surprisingly, you find yourself using new words in conversation and in emails. If you have a spare second or two, you might want to check out a Random Wikipedia Article, Today I learned about Peter Svidler, the Chess player.

If you need some guidance on a subject or just need to talk to like minded people, I might suggest a Yahoo Group. Here you can find individual groups of like minded, or like hobbied people that you can gain ideas from or through ideas around on. Subjects range from coping with miscarriage to teen mothers to painting Christmas miniatures. Check it out.

Sensing, Respectfully

2006-01-16T22:16:00.000-05:00

This is a little poem that I had printed in a school writing publication a few years ago. I thought it fit the mood as of late.

Sensing, Respectfully